


25 Days

by blurrylinesandmessylife



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Idiots in Love, sanvers advent calendar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2019-09-04 23:17:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 27,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurrylinesandmessylife/pseuds/blurrylinesandmessylife
Summary: 25 random moments in the life of Alex Danvers & Maggie Sawyer





	1. beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Christmas was once my favorite holiday, simply because December always felt different to me. 
> 
> People were happier. The world seemed beautiful. Anything felt possible. Magic was within reach. 
> 
> But the longer hope goes unfounded, the harder it is to believe. Until one day, you wake up and hope is lost and the magic is gone.
> 
> This is my attempt to find some magic again, if only for myself. And so, instead of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas, here’s my version: 25 Days of Maggie and Alex.
> 
> I happen to be posting this in December as an advent calendar of sorts, but this isn’t a holiday piece. Just 25 random moments in the life of. 
> 
> Chapters to be updated daily, of varying lengths. Chapters not necessarily linear, and mostly stand-alone (except for when they ARE linear and NOT stand alone, in which case I’ll warn you at the top).

“So, you’re saying you like me. That’s - that’s what I got.” Alex wonders aloud as Maggie smiles back at her.

“Yeah. You’re not gonna go crazy on me, are ya?” Maggie teases gently.

Alex nods. “Probably.” And then she lunges forward, grabbing Maggie’s face for another kiss.

And another. And another.

That’s how they begin.

////

Maggie hates the beginning of relationships.

She hates the awkwardness. Hates the dance of learning a partner. Hates opening up, too afraid to let someone see the parts of herself she hates.

But mostly, Maggie hates the overwhelming flood of emotions new relationships bring. Emotions she learned long ago only lead to heartbreak.

She hates every second spent looking over her shoulder, waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her.

Maggie hates beginnings because she knows how they end.

Most beginnings, Maggie only knows _dread_.

But this time, _this_ beginning, is so much different, _so much better_ , because every time Maggie feels like she’s freefalling, Alex is there to catch her.

 _This_ beginning, Alex meets her step for step as they fumble together through clumsy kisses and tentative roaming hands. Through soft nervous giggles and timid _meet my girlfriend_ intros.

 _This_ beginning, Maggie learns there is no rug.

Just Alex.

Open and honest and earnest Alex, navigating co-pilot with Maggie through every uncharted twist and turn.

 _Her_ Alex, who is just as scared of their terrifying plunge. _Her_ Alex, who links their hands anyway so they can leap together.

 _This_ beginning, Maggie finds no dread.

Only _love_.


	2. accusation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2

“Maggie!” Alex squeals from the kitchen.

Maggie turns from her spot on the couch, eyes shining with mirth but her face giving nothing else away. “Yeah?”

Alex points her finger, growling through gritted teeth. “Play coy all you want but you know what you did.”

Maggie stands and saunters into the kitchen, _playing coy_ in the way that both infuriates and exhilarates Alex. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Danvers.”

Alex huffs, arms crossing her chest. She points at the counter, where a spit out wad of ice cream lays melting next to its container.

“You played me.” Alex accuses.

Maggie feigns innocence. “What? How? You put chocolate ice cream on the grocery list.” Maggie juts her thumb at the wad. “That’s chocolate ice -”

“No!” Alex yelps again, interrupting Maggie. “No, that is NOT ice cream. It LOOKS like chocolate ice cream. It was MARKETED as chocolate ice cream. But – ugh- taste this! It’s a LIE.” Alex scoops some of the _not ice cream_ onto her spoon, jutting it out in front of Maggie’s face.

Maggie bites her lip, holding back a smirk as she waves her hands in rebuff. “Sorry Danvers, can’t have dairy.”

“Margarita Sawyer, you know damn well you got me vegan ice cream.” Alex lunges forward as Maggie screeches, dodging Alex’s attempts to shove the spoon in her mouth.

After a few minutes of playful battle, Alex drops the spoon, ice cream dripping all over the floor and themselves. 

Maggie reaches out, a soft smile on her face as she thumbs away some ice cream splattered on Alex’s cheek. She pops her finger in her mouth. “Oh wow. It _IS_ vegan ice cream. Must’ve been a marketing error.”

Alex glowers. “Yeah. Marketing.”

Maggie simply shrugs, refusing to confess.

Alex leans back on her heels, lips pursed as she stares Maggie down. “This is strike two, Sawyer. Don’t think I didn’t notice the zucchini in the marinara yesterday. 

“So I want my _beloved_ girlfriend to eat a vegetable. Sue me.” Maggie throws her hands up in mock defeat. Alex pouts, and Maggie goes in for the kill with her own pout, her arms wrapping around Alex’s waist, pulling her girlfriend close. Dimples popping as she croons, “I’m sorry, baby. I was just thinkin’ of your cholesterol. I want you around for a long time.”

Alex sinks into Maggie’s embrace, ducking her head to drop a sweet kiss onto Maggie’s cheek as she yields. “Fine. Hide the vegetables all you want, but stop ruining ice cream. My arteries can handle some dairy. 

Maggie chuckles, pressing a kiss to Alex’s neck. “You’re really sticky” Maggie whispers, her tongue lapping up a trail of ice cream dripping down Alex’s neck. “You should take a shower.”

Alex smirks, mischievous, rubbing her sticky chin all over Maggie’s face. “Now you need one, too.” 

Before Maggie even realizes what’s happening, she’s swept up in Alex’s arms. Alex carries Maggie towards the bathroom, their laughter echoing through the apartment as the ice cream that started it all remains on the counter, melting and forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments encouraged / criticism welcome. Thank you for reading.


	3. restless

_We’ve slept together before but we’ve never **slept** together before,_ Maggie realizes as she tosses and turns in Alex’s bed thirty minutes after saying goodnight.

_We didn’t have sex tonight. I’ve never been in her bed without having sex._

Maggie counts to ten and tries to still her body. She knows her restlessness has to be disturbing Alex, but Maggie can’t help it; her brain is in overdrive.

She’s hyper aware of how domestic this new development in their relationship is. How the lines are slowly blurring between lust and love.

Maggie can’t figure out when her baby gay of a girlfriend became so secure in their relationship that Alex can now lay three inches away, entirely un-phased by the fact that this is the first time they’re sharing a bed _just to sleep._

Maggie can’t figure out what it says about herself, that she can’t find similar peace.

_Pull yourself together,_ Maggie internally groans, shifting in bed again.

“Are you okay?” Alex finally flips over, propping herself on her side. She peers down at Maggie, worrying her lip.

_Great, the jig’s up. Now Alex knows I’m the gay mess in this relationship._

Maggie lets out a huff, staring up at the ceiling as she runs her hand over her face in frustration. “Yeah, sorry, didn’t mean to keep you up. Just don’t know how to do this.”

“Sleep?”

Maggie rolls her eyes, shifting sideways to look at Alex. “I’m more of a _slip out in the dead of night_ girl, Danvers. Sleepovers aren’t really my thing.”

Alex avoids Maggie’s gaze, picking at a string on the duvet. “You don’t have stay over if you’re uncomfortable.”

Maggie clucks her tongue, leaning over to give Alex a quick peck and taking hold of Alex’s hand that rests on the mattress between them. “That’s not what I meant. Sleeping in places that aren’t my own throws me a little off kilter, is all.”

“Oh.” Alex pulls Maggie closer, cheek resting atop Maggie’s head when Maggie curls in. Maggie assumes they’re just going to lay in silence until –

“When Kara first came to live with us, she was scared of everything.”

“I didn’t say I was scar –“

“Shh. I didn’t say you were. Now, as I was saying, _Kara_ was scared of everything, but the funniest thing she….”

Too absorbed by Alex’s soothing voice, it takes a few minutes for Maggie to piece together what’s happening. When she does, though, Maggie bolts up, looking down at Alex. Amused.

“Oh my god. You’re telling me a bedtime story?” 

“Well, not if you keep interrupting me.”

Maggie raises her hands in apology before she settles back against Alex. “Sorry, carry on.”

Alex carries on and Maggie falls asleep a few minutes later with a smile on her face.

She sleeps soundly through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill. comments are nice. criticisms are, too. I want to be better for you.


	4. snowflake

“Mags.” Alex pokes Maggie. Maggie grunts.

Alex tries again, leaning down, lips pressed to the shell of Maggie’s ear. “Please wake up. It’ll be worth it.”

“Sleep is worth it.” Maggie mumbles, her voice muffled by her pillow.

“Do you trust me?”

There’s a long beat as Alex waits on baited breath before -

“You play dirty.” Maggie groans as she sits up, her hair standing up at odd angles, looking downright miserable. She flinches when Alex throws a sweatshirt at her face.

“Knew that’d work.” Alex reaches her hand out, pulling Maggie out of bed. She helps Maggie pull the sweatshirt on, kissing her nose when Maggie’s head reappears. Winking when Maggie tries but fails to hide the small smile that tugs at her lips in response to Alex’s gesture.

Alex brings them outside, holding both of Maggie’s hands with her own as she looks up at the sky, her breath leaving condensation trails in the air. “Look” she demands happily. 

Maggie looks up wearily. “It’s the sky Danvers. Surely you’ve seen it before. Hell, I know for a fact you’ve been _in_ it before.”

Alex lets out an exasperated groan. “Just…look.”

And sure enough, a few flurries flutter down as Alex closes her eyes.

“You dragged me out here at 3 am to see the snow?”

Alex’s eyes pop open. “Not just _the_ snow. The _first_ snow of the season. On our _first vacation_ as a couple. Isn’t it-” Alex pauses, looking at Maggie, her face softening, “- beautiful?”

Historically, had any other girlfriend pulled her out of bed to look at a flurry, Maggie would’ve been cranky and irritated. Historically, Maggie would’ve scoffed at how childish her grown-ass adult girlfriend was acting in the dead of night.

But as Maggie watched Alex stare up at the sky with such sincere glee, any instinct to be grumpy melted away.

“Yeah, Danvers. Maybe it is a little beautiful.” 

“Maybe?!” Alex exhales, affronted.

Maggie wraps her arms around Alex, slipping her hands under Alex’s sweatshirt and kissing her soundly before cuddling in for warmth, “Alright, yes. It’s beautiful.” 

Alex hums, vindicated, as she starts swaying with Maggie in her arms, the moment sweet until –

“It’s also fuckin’ freezing.” 

Alex pulls back. “You grew up in Nebraska.”

“Cold is cold and National City made me soft. Whatever.” 

And if Alex hears Maggie’s unspoken _you’ve made me soft, too_ , she doesn’t mention it. Instead, she gives her girlfriend a pass, grabbing Maggie’s sweatshirt by the fistful and pulling her in for a kiss. 

“Thank you for indulging me” Alex mumbles against Maggie’s lips. “We can go back inside now. I don’t want you to freeze."

Alex leans in for another quick peck before ushering Maggie back towards the cabin, rubbing her palms up and down Maggie’s arms to keep her warm.

“You know, now that we’re up, I can think of a few other ways you can put your hands to use…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments / criticisms / thoughts / things you want to see always welcomed.


	5. formal

_Dear Rao, I’m gay,_ Alex mutters under her breath when Maggie emerges from the bedroom, Maggie’s face fixed in a grimace as she fiddles with her bun, entirely unaware of Alex gaping at her.

“I look like a kid playing dress up in her dad’s closet. You’d think the NCPD would spring for a woman’s cut, there’s enough of us in the force now.” Maggie gripes, smoothing her dress blazer.

“No, you look…so good.” Alex blurts out, breathless.

“You’re a good girlfriend for trying to make me feel better about this.”

Alex stands before Maggie in two strides, taking hold of Maggie’s hands, squeezing them to emphasize her point. “Maggie, I’m serious. You look _unbelievably_ sexy. If you want proof, stick your hand up my dress and feel for yourself how turned on I am.”

Maggie leans back on her heels, no longer dour, just smug. “So you like a woman in uniform, eh Danvers? How stereotypical.”

Alex blushes crimson. “I had no idea until this very moment but, dear lord yes. I _really_ like you in this.”

Alex straightens Maggie’s lapels before pulling her in for a heated kiss, moaning when Maggie’s tongue sweeps across Alex’s lower lip. Maggie gently pushes Alex back against the wall, enjoying several blissful minutes of a heated makeout session. 

It’s when Alex feels Maggie’s hand creeping higher up her thigh that she knows she has to put a reluctant end to this before they pass the point of no return.

“Mag-hmphm” Alex tries to talk around Maggie’s lips. She places a gentle hand on Maggie’s chest, putting a little distance between them; smirking when she feels how quickly Maggie’s heart is beating. “I want you to do so many things to me but we’ve gotta go now otherwise we’ll never leave.”

“So we don’t leave.” Maggie shrugs as she goes back to kissing Alex’s neck.

Alex moans when Maggie bites down, and almost says _fuck it_ until she remembers that it’s her girlfriend’s big day.

Alex places her hands on Maggie’s hips and physically moves Maggie back with an apologetic smile. “Three hours. We show up, you get your award, I brag to anyone in a 200 foot radius about my beautiful badass girlfriend, and then we come home and get back to this.”

Maggie pouts, rolling to Alex’s side, head resting against the wall with a dull thud as she tries to catch her breath.

Alex straightens out her dress and presses a kiss to Maggie’s cheek once situated. “Come on, Detective. The sooner we’re done, the sooner I make you come,” Alex winks before turning on her heel and sauntering away.

“You’re such a tease.” Maggie whines.

Alex laughs, pausing to allow Maggie to catch up and playfully nudging Maggie’s shoulder when she does, linking their arms to walk out the door.

To Alex’s surprise, Maggie doesn’t try to get handsy in the elevator, instead clasping Alex’s left hand with both of her own, leaning slightly into Alex as they stand in companionable silence side by side.

It’s when the elevator opens and Maggie remains rooted in her spot that Alex realizes Maggie is _nervous._ She squeezes Maggie’s hand before pulling it out of her girlfriend’s gasp to loop an arm around Maggie’s shoulders, gently navigating them towards the car.

Alex nearly swoons when Maggie, for all her nerves, still opens the passenger side door for Alex, and snorts when Maggie bows dramatically with an exaggerated “M’lady.” 

Before Maggie can close the passenger door though, Alex reaches out, grabbing Maggie’s forearm, turning sincere. “Hey, you know I’m proud of you, right? I kinda made it all about you being excellent arm candy up there, but you’re so much more than that to me.”

Maggie smiles, cupping Alex’s cheek as she takes a moment to gaze at Alex before leaning in to give her a soft kiss. “I know. Thanks for having my six.” 

Alex thumbs Maggie’s lips, removing her lipstick remnants before resting her forehead against Maggie’s. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for still tuning in.


	6. move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember how I said the chapters were mostly going to be stand-alone and not necessarily told in any chronological order? This chapter is the first real example of that - we're jumping way ahead in a relationship milestone moment here. Hope you still enjoy!

“Smells good in here.” Alex yells in greeting when she walks through Maggie’s apartment door for their date night, making a beeline to the kitchen with a cardboard box in hand.

“Thanks, it’s just about ready.” Maggie kisses Alex hello, adding as an afterthought, “What’s with the box?”

“It’s for you.” Alex drops the box on the kitchen island with a bashful smile.

Maggie flips off the oven burner, wiping her hands. “You…shouldn’t have.” Maggie muses when she looks inside and finds the box empty.

Alex shifts the box, pointing to her sharpie scrawl written on the side that reads, _Maggie’s kitchen_.

“I’m pretty literate, but I think I might need to buy a vowel on this one, Danvers.”

Alex huffs, walking back to the front door to grab Maggie’s keys from the key bowl. She walks back, finding a specific key and raising it in front of Maggie’s face.

“This is for my apartment, right?”

Maggie nods, completely bewildered. “Yeah.”

“And this box says ‘Maggie’s kitchen’?” Alex continues.

“Mhmm.”

“I was hoping you’d want to put your kitchen –“ Alex gestures vaguely around them, “-in this box – “ Alex shakes the box, “-and then use this key – “ she raises it to Maggie’s eye level again for emphasis, “-to unpack it in _our_ apartment.”

Maggie finally puts the pieces together but keeps the charade going, intentionally toying with Alex. “Just my kitchen?”

Alex groans, letting the keys thump to the counter. “This was far more romantic in my head.”

“You’re doing great. Keep going.” Maggie gently mocks as Alex frowns, defeated.

“I take it back. Keep your kitchen where it is.”

“Aw, come on, this was super cute so far. I wanna see how you seal the deal.”

“No.” Alex pouts, leaning her elbows on the counter and burying her face in her hands.

Maggie wraps her arms around Alex, her chin resting on Alex’s shoulder from behind. All teasing gone, just earnest adoration as she whispers in Alex’s ear, “Stop trying so hard, Al. It’s just me; ask for what you want.” 

Alex shifts in Maggie’s arms, coming face to face. She tucks a strand of Maggie’s hair behind her ear before hoisting Maggie up, sitting her on the counter and settling between her legs while Maggie wraps her arms around Alex’s neck.

Alex takes a deep breath before whispering out in a nervous rush, “Move in with me please?”

“I don’t know if I have enough boxes…”

Alex whimpers, dropping her head against Maggie’s shoulder. Maggie links her ankles around Alex’s back, keeping her close and dropping her hands on Alex’s shoulders, shaking her gently. “I’m teasing. Of course I want to put my kitchen in your kitchen. Every other room, too.”

“You’re not just saying yes out of pity?” 

“Oh, baby, no--” Maggie shrugs down off the counter, walking around the kitchen island to rifle through her bag. She pulls out an opened envelope, handing it to Alex.

Alex pulls out the contents, skimming through the document with a furrowed brow.

Maggie sidles up next to Alex, placing a gentle hand at the small of Alex’s back. “I got that yesterday. My lease is up next month and as you’re reading, I’m not renewing. You beat me to the ask.”

“So…we’re roommates?” Alex asks, awed.

Maggie laughs, eyes shining as she nods in the affirmative. “I live with such a dork.” She leaves a kiss on Alex’s lips before adding, “I really will need more than one box, though, roomie." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual disclaimer: thoughts / comments / criticisms welcome. 
> 
> ALSO - I have one free space in this advent calendar and I'd love to open it up to reader choice - all I need from you is a one word prompt of something you'd love to see in this calendar of ours.


	7. flame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am quickly learning that writing every day is quite difficult. But here we are, one week down! In this installment, we learn that, once again, Alex Danvers is a sucker for Maggie's dimples (and for her sister).

Kara’s Earth birthday falls on a Saturday, and after several pleas of, “ _Alex, wouldn’t it be super fun for all of us to go to Midvale to celebrate for the weekend!!!!!!”_ Alex reluctantly acquiesces and decides that maybe a group trip to their hometown wouldn’t be the worst.

Anything for Kara.

Which is why the Superfriends pack into a van the Friday before Kara’s birthday, rolling into Midvale just around sunset.

Eliza’s prepares a home-cooked meal for them upon arrival, and afterwards, they all gather outside for drinks around the bonfire, ready to usher in Kara’s “birthday” at midnight.

Growing up, Alex never understood the appeal of bonfires. Without the sun, the ocean breeze just felt _cold,_ not _calm_ , and people always ended up getting just a shade too drunk.

Where others saw beauty, Alex only saw annoyance.

She gets bonfires now, though, as she sits with a blanket slung around her shoulders, watching with rapt attention as Maggie, Kara and J’onn stand off to her right. Maggie’s head tips back in genuine laughter whenever Kara makes a joke, leaving Alex a bit breathless each time it happens.

Alex can hear Winn speaking to her left, but Alex can’t turn away from Maggie, too awed by how the flickering light of the fire frames her girlfriend’s features. After a few more moments of quiet wonderment, Alex tugs at Maggie’s arm from her seated position.

Maggie looks down with a dimpled smile. “Yes, dear?”

“You’re pretty.” Alex blurts out.

Maggie lets out a self-conscious scoff, the dim lighting doing nothing to hide the faint blush coloring her cheeks. “Thanks Danvers, you’re not so bad on the eyes yourself.”

Alex pulls at Maggie’s arm again, toppling Maggie sideways into her lap. Maggie raises an eyebrow, the unspoken “ _Really? In front of all these people?”_ in her eyes.

Alex winks, offering a quick kiss as she snakes an arm around Maggie’s waist before turning her attention back to Winn. “Sorry, Winn. Got distracted. You were saying?”

Winn scoffs. “Ugh, it doesn’t even matter anymore, you guys are adorable. 

“Whoa.” Maggie cries as Alex simultaneously lets out a huffed “Hey!”

“We –“ Maggie waves her finger between herself and Alex, “-are _not_ adorable. We are badass.”

Winn rolls his eyes. “Kara!” Winn bellows. Kara turns in response to her name as Winn asks, “If you had to describe your sister and her girlfriend right now using only one word, what word would it be?”

Kara looks, a bright smile on her face. “Ad-“ Alex coughs loudly as Kara quickly course corrects, “-mirable. They’re...admirable?” 

“I know, right?! Total couple goals” Winn agrees as Alex scrunches her nose in annoyance and Maggie chuckles softly. 

Now validated, Winn turns his attention towards James, leaving Maggie and Alex alone in their own little bubble.

Maggie drops her forehead against Alex’s temple, adjusting the blanket around Alex’s shoulders so it cocoons them both. “You’ve gotta admit, Danvers, we do make an admirable team.”

Alex simply squeezes Maggie’s thigh in response with an absentminded grin on her face as she watches the light of the bonfire bounce off the people she cares for most, with the girl she loves most in her arms.


	8. transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is our first foray into chronological order. This losely follows the last chapter, though you don't need to read that one to get this one.

“She’s so happy.” Eliza muses, sidling up beside Maggie on the deck, joining the woman to watch Alex and Kara splash around in the ocean below.

Maggie smiles, wistful. “Yeah, she is, isn’t she? She talked a big game about being too busy to drive up here, but she really loves coming home.”

“Oh sweetheart, that smile has nothing to do with Midvale.”

Maggie cocks her head to the side in question.

Eliza gestures to the lounge chairs behind them, settling in as the Danvers sisters’ laughter echoes in the distance.

Once settled, Eliza explains, “My daughter was such a serious child. Through it all – Kara, Jeremiah, even the typical high school woes - Alex never said a word of what she felt. And then she went to Stanford, and, well, you know how that story goes, too. I was so relieved when J’onn brought her into the DEO fold. I thought that maybe once she found her calling she’d open up but –“ Eliza trails off, shaking her head and gathering her thoughts, regret evident. 

“Since the day she was born, my Alexandra’s been so cautious with her heart.” Eliza pauses again, a small smile on her face when she hears Alex’s gleeful shriek, before reaching across to take Maggie’s hand. “You’re the first big thing in Alexandra’s life to set her free. It’s not Midvale, Maggie. She’s happy because of _you_ , and I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Maggie swallows the lump in her throat. “I…wow. That’s really kind, but I can’t take the credit away from Alex. The way she navigated coming out is…incredible. Your daughter is so incredible and - like I said, I didn’t do anything but I - I just hope she’s as happy with me as I am with her.”

“She is.” Alex replies, a towel wrapped around her and water dripping from her hair, fresh out of the ocean. Maggie whips around, a blush on her face while Alex winks at Eliza. “I know it’s easy, but stop making my girlfriend cry, Mom.”

Eliza raises her hands in defeat as Maggie scoffs, throwing a pillow towards Alex’s direction. “Way to ruin a nice moment, babe.”

Alex shrugs, chucking the pillow back at Maggie. “Kara’s workin’ on dinner. She wants your help because apparently I’m, and I quote, ‘not to be trusted anywhere near a stove and Maggie’s so much better’”.

Maggie smiles, standing up and walking into the house. “She’s not wrong.” Maggie teases, shouldering Alex playfully while passing.

Alex halts Maggie’s progress with a gentle hand on her stomach, kissing Maggie before landing a playful pat to Maggie’s butt, urging her onwards. “Yeah, yeah.”

“She’s good for you, Alexandra” Eliza says as she rises, gathering Alex into her arms.

“I know. I’m lucky.”

Eliza pulls back, serious. “And you’re good for _her,_ too, right? That poor girl deserves so much more love than what she’s received.”

“I’m trying.” Alex whispers.

Eliza cups Alex’s cheek, proud. “Good. A love like yours is rare. Hold onto her.”

“I plan on it, Mom.” Alex swears.


	9. denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back to us being non-linear.

At first, Maggie ignores the three words bubbling in her chest.

It’s been so long since she’s felt _that_ , that at first, it doesn’t feel like denial.

Those three words are just too foreign to understand. It doesn’t even cross her mind that the new and persistent dull ache in her heart could be _love_.

But then Alex surprises her with a candlelit dinner and a failed, albeit sweet, attempt at homemade tiramisu for their three month anniversary and Maggie has to yield that _, okay maybe those three words exist,_ but _she’s_ not feeling them for real.

She’s just hopped up on the endorphin rush that budding relationships bring.

It’s not permanent. It won’t last. 

Love never lasts.

But soon, those three words travel up from her chest to her throat, suffocating her.

She feels the tightness while Alex rambles, her geeky exuberance leaving Maggie breathless. Any time Alex grabs her hand. Whenever they have sex.

Maggie almost chokes out the admission twice in the month that follows their anniversary, but each time she comes close, she panics.

So she bites her tongue and swallows the words because _yes, she’s in love_ and _yes, it terrifies her_ but _there’s no way Alex could feel the same_ so _why bother?_

The words stay on the tip of Maggie’s tongue for two more months, threatening to slip past her lips each time Alex winks at her. Whenever Alex scrunches her nose in distaste. Every night as Alex’s fingers trail through her hair while they watch TV.

Eventually, those three words consume Maggie’s every thought. Until one day, Maggie bursts.

She doesn’t mean for it to happen.

But it’s 8 am and she’s 5 minutes away from clocking out of her night shift. And when she looks up from her paperwork to find Alex standing over her desk, a cup of coffee and a croissant in hand, Maggie is too tired to deny the three simple words that tumble out of her mouth.

“I love you.”

Alex’s eyes widen, a smirk on her lips as she watches Maggie realize her proclamation, and the horror that follows.

“I-oh, um…shit.” Maggie worries her lip.

Alex drops a kiss to Maggie’s lips and the coffee and pastry on the desk in front of Maggie. “Had I known all it’d take for you to finally say it was coffee and a croissant, I would’ve done this months ago.”

Maggie swats at Alex’s arm, dumbfounded. “Wait, you knew I loved you this whole time and you made me sweat it out?!”

Alex shrugs. “Seemed like something you needed to work through for yourself. I didn’t want to push you to say it if you weren’t ready.”

“God, I love you.” Maggie sighs again, relieved.

“Same.” Alex replies.

Maggie leans back in her chair, indignant again. “Same?! _That’s_ how you tell me you love me back? Just a cavalier ‘same’?” Maggie squeals.

Alex lets out a warm laugh, placing her hands on either of Maggie’s armrests, bracketing Maggie in the chair. “The first time I _actually_ tell you _that_ , I don’t want it to be as an automated response. So for now, same.”

“You are unbelievable and this conversation is exhausting.”

“But you love me anyway.” Alex singsongs.

Maggie tilts her head and nods, leaning forward to leave a sweet kiss on Alex’s lips, hands reaching up to cup Alex's cheeks.

“I really do.” Maggie admits, and then lets out a massive yawn.

Alex nudges Maggie’s nose with her own before she pulls back, swinging Maggie around in her chair. “Come on, my sleepy Detective, lets take you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> truthfully, I am so humbled and honored by all the comments and kudos. I love hearing what resonates with ya'll in these little snippets - thank you so much!!


	10. prepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even badasses get hurt sometimes.

As a scientist, Alex knows that, statistically, one day she’ll get the call. She knows the odds. 

She thought knowing the odds meant she was prepared for the day she'd have to pick up the phone and hear _Maggie's hurt._

It was only a matter of time.

Until Maggie’s partner calls one Tuesday afternoon, and Alex answers the phone with her heart in her throat and a shaky, “Smith, what’s wrong, is she okay?”

“She’s okay, don’t freak, but you should come down to St. Margaret’s. We were chasin’ a perp and she took a through and through to the shoulder. Like I said, she’s totally fine, just a little banged up. She’s getting released soon and I thought maybe you’d wanna take her home for some TLC.”

Alex hangs up with a rushed, “I’ll be right there,” and calls Kara immediately after. Kara flies Alex to the hospital in 2 minutes flat.

Alex tumbles out of Kara’s arms before her sister’s feet hit land, sprinting into the lobby and nearly careening into Smith as he paces on the phone.

He pulls the phone away from his head, muting his call for a moment. “Whoa, you weren’t kidding. You got here fast.”

“Friends in high places. Where is she?”

“Room 124. I’ve gotta go back to the precinct to fill out the report. You good?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it from here. Thanks.” Alex pats him on the shoulder quickly before turning on her heel and darting down the hallway, quickly scanning the room numbers until she finds Maggie’s room. She flings herself through the door, wincing when it slams against the wall. 

Maggie startles from her perch on the bed, then grimaces at the movement. “Alex. What’re you doin’ here?”

Alex is at Maggie’s bedside in an instant, cradling Maggie’s head to her chest. “You’re okay.”

“Yeah, but…again, how’d you know I was here?”

Alex tilts Maggie’s chin up with her finger, scanning for injuries and admonishing. “Smith called me. Why didn’t _you_ call me?”

Maggie sighs. “It’s a routine gunshot.”

“There’s nothing routine about a gunshot, Mags! You could’ve died!”

“But I didn’t.”

Alex ignores her, moving away to read the chart at the end of Maggie’s bedside instead.

Maggie watches Alex for a quiet moment, noticing the tears pooling in her girlfriend’s eyes and the tremble in Alex’s lip. “The chart says what I’ve already told you, Alex. I’m fine. Come sit with me.” Maggie pleads softly.

Alex bites her lip, refusing to make eye contact.

“Babe, please.” Maggie begs again, patting the side of her bed with her good arm. Alex lets a tear fall, sitting next to Maggie, her body tense with suppressed emotion.

Maggie throws her arm around Alex’s shoulder and Alex curls in. Her voice wavering as she confesses, “I thought I was prepared for this but I’m not.”

“That’s why I told Smith not to call. I didn’t want you to worry when you didn’t need to.”

Alex pulls out of Maggie’s embrace, gently grabbing Maggie’s cheeks with her hands. “I worry about you constantly, you idiot, whether you give me a reason to or not. I love you.”

Maggie rests her forehead against Alex’s. “You too.”

Alex brushes Maggie’s hair away from her face. “Were you wearing your vest?”

“Always, Danvers. I know what I stand to lose and I hate losing.”

Mollified, Alex drops her hand from Maggie’s cheek to allow her fingers to play absently with the dressing on Maggie’s shoulder.

“So we’re on the same page, now? You’ll call me next time you wind up here, even if the thought of you hurt makes me want to vomit?”

“I’ll call. Unless I’m in the OR, then I’ll be a little busy.”

Alex pinches Maggie’s side.

“What, too soon?”

“Way too soon.” Alex confirms, pulling Maggie to her side, settling back against the bed.

Maggie sighs, resting her head against Alex’s chest. “Sorry to spring an injured girlfriend preparedness pop quiz on ya. You got an A though, if it helps.”

“Honestly, I shouldn’t be surprised. You don’t make anything easy. But thanks for the A, professor.” Alex laughs, settling into comfortable silence, until - “I'm dying to know how you were gonna hide this from me. What was the plan?”


	11. out(side)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter in particular is near and dear to my heart. please be gentle.

At first, Alex gets self-conscious.

She worries it’s her fault Maggie shirks away from touch. She assumes it’s something about _her._ That Maggie finds her repulsive. That Maggie doesn’t want her the same way she longs for Maggie.

Until Alex realizes with startling clarity that Maggie’s a tactile person, but only in private. Where no one can see the light touches and sweet kisses, gentle nudges and sly glances. Soft smiles and those adorable dimples.

_Maggie is affectionate,_ Alex realizes, _but only in the safe confines of four walls and familiar faces_.

The realization sends Alex spiraling down a darker rabbit hole: _If she doesn’t find me repulsive, maybe she’s just embarrassed to be seen with me in public._

So Alex decides to experiment and offers to walk Maggie to work one morning with a goal of getting to the bottom of why Maggie’s so terrified to be near her in public.

They navigate the streets of National City side by side, their routine comfortable and familiar and full of gentle teasing but palpably absent of the touch Alex has come to crave. The entire walk, Alex clocks the way Maggie flinches if their body language slips into anything other than platonic.

Maggie flinches a lot.

Eventually they get to the precinct and Maggie grows quiet, staring down at her feet. She takes a deep breath before looking back up, hitching her bag on her shoulder and giving Alex a small wave. “Okay, well, um, thanks for walking with me.”

Maggie’s anxious eyes scan their surroundings and Alex purses her lips, curious to see if Maggie will offer any sign of affection before they part ways.

When Maggie turns to leave without a kiss, Alex reaches out, pulling Maggie into an alley, determined to confront this once and for all. She leans against the wall, shielding Maggie from street view as she asks bluntly, “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? Is that why you haven’t touched me since we left my apartment?”

“What, Alex, no. Jesus, that’s not it _at all_. I – look there’s a huge difference between being out in the bedroom and being out…well –“ Maggie waves vaguely around them, “-out.”

“That was a terrible pun.” Alex smirks, leaning in to kiss Maggie.

Maggie sinks into the kiss for a moment before remembering where they are. She places a hand on Alex’s chest, pulling back slightly, her eyes darting around to scan their surroundings again.

“I’m serious. This is still new for you and I want to take it at your pace, no matter how badly I want to do all the gross PDA things the straights get to do. You should be comfortable and _ready_ before we give everyone somethin’ to talk about, because trust me, someone will always talk _._ ”

Alex nods, sympathetic, tucking a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear. “I appreciate that, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I want _you,_ Maggie, and that means _everywhere_. I refuse to hide you like some dirty little secret. Screw anyone who has a problem with ladies lovin’ ladies, I want to hold my girlfriend’s hand.”

Alex waits a beat, letting her words land before she reaches out her hand palm up in silent request. Maggie looks at it wearily, and Alex shakes her hand in the air again, this time in silent demand for Maggie to take it.

Maggie gulps, but links their fingers anyway. Alex squeezes Maggie’s hand once before walking out to the street. They make it to the front of the precinct door again, and Alex intentionally pauses until a pedestrian is within earshot, keeping Maggie’s hand firmly in her own.

“Be safe out there, babe.” Alex steps forward, leaving a sweet kiss to Maggie’s cheek. She pulls away with a wink, turning away without lingering.

Maggie blinks, a blush on her face, entirely enamored with her girlfriend's gentle illustration that her preferred pace is a public pace. Maggie shakes her head and calls out, “Alex." She grabs her girlfriend’s arm, spinning her back. She takes Alex’s face in her hands, planting a kiss on Alex’s lips that leaves both women a little dazed. “Have a good day” Maggie whispers, giving Alex one more peck before jogging up the steps, feeling far lighter and much freer.

Maggie’s co-worker jogs up behind her, holding the door open with a cocky grin. “That was sweet, Sawyer. Who knew you had it in ya?”

“Shut it, Donnelley.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm behind on responding to comments but please know I appreciate ya'll and keep 'em coming! I love hearing what you guys like and don't like!


	12. email

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one was a lot of fun to write but a monster to format. hopefully it's fun to read.

One day in late September, Maggie’s Captain pulls her into his office and asks her to be the NCPD representative at a week long law enforcement conference back in Gotham.

He promises her participation in the conference is purely for informational purposes, and that all she has to do is _sit in on some panels and report back with any new technological advances that could be advantageous to the department_.

Maggie is honored to be asked to represent the department.

That is, until she gets there.

/////

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Mon, Oct 12, 11:44 pm)_

_Subject: WTF_

_Sending you an email instead of a text because you’re probably asleep, but you should know I can’t sleep and it’s your fault._

_I miss your arm slung around my stomach. I miss your knee tucked into the back of mine. I miss feeling your breath tickling the back of my neck. I even miss your snoring._

_I’ve got this whole bed to myself, without you hogging the covers, and I can’t enjoy any of this because I miss you so damn much, Danvers._

_It’s only night one and I have to spend six more nights like this._

_I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but this is ridiculous and very annoying. I’m a grown woman who needs her security blanket._

_Next time, I’m packing you with me._

_\---_

**_To: Maggie Sawyer_ **

**_From: Alex Danvers_ **

**_(Mon, Oct 12, 11:45 pm)_ **

**_Subject: WTF_ **

**_I’ve got you covered. Check the bottom of your suitcase._ **

**_Also seems like a good time to ask why you haven’t you unpacked your suitcase. Everything’s gonna get wrinkled._ **

**_\---_ **

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Mon, Oct 12, 11:48 pm)_

_Subject: WTF_

_BABY!! You let me borrow Henry the Penguin?!!?!??!? Calling you now (so you can suffer with me while I unpack)._

_//////_

The next day, Maggie sits in a conference room listening to her third panel of the day, bored out of her mind.

She pops open her email app in the hopes of tricking anyone looking over her shoulder into thinking she’s sending a work email, rather than texting her girlfriend.

Which is basically what she’s doing.

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Tues, Oct 13, 2:23 pm)_

_Subject: WHYYYYYYY_

_This is dumb. Why’d I agree to do this? I’d rather listen to you talk nerd to me. You’re so much smarter._

_And way hotter._

_\----_

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Tues, Oct 13, 2:36 pm)_

_Subject: WHYYYYYYY_

_lol babe, this guy is railing on Daxamites for being pretentious dicks right now, and I gotta tell you, he’s got sound supporting evidence to back it up._

_I still don’t get what Kara was thinking._

_\---_

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Tues, Oct 13, 3:05 pm)_

_Subject: WHYYYYYYY_

_Alex, why are you ignoring my emails AND my texts? I thought you loved me. Save me. I’m so boreddddddd._

_\----_

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Tues, Oct 13, 3:15 pm)_

_Subject: WHYYYYYY_

_Okay, fine. I see your play. I’ll listen to the boring old guy now, I promise. Call me when you get home? I’m out at 6._

_Miss you and love you._

_//////_

On Wednesday, Maggie doesn’t even make it through a full panel before she starts emailing Alex.

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Wed, Oct 14, 11:16 am)_

_Subject: Let’s play a game._

_What are you wearing?_

_\----_

**To: Maggie Sawyer**

**From: Alex Danvers**

**(Wed, Oct 14, 11:17 am)**

**Subject: Let’s play a game.**

**Pay attention to the panel, Maggie, and keep it in your pants.**

**\----**

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Wed, Oct 14, 11:18 am)_

_Subject: Let’s play a game._

_I_ _wish_ _I were in your pants right now._

_\----_

**To: Maggie Sawyer**

**From: Alex Danvers**

**(Wed, Oct 14, 11:20 am)**

**Subject: Let’s play a game.**

**It’s not even noon!**

**\----**

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Wed, Oct 14, 11:21 am)_

_Subject: Let’s play a game._

_And? When has time stopped me?_

_Since you’re being so difficult, wanna guess what_ _I’m_ _wearing?_

_\----_

**To: Maggie Sawyer**

**From: Alex Danvers**

**(Wed, Oct 14, 11:22 am)**

**Subject: Let’s play a game.**

**That white button up, sleeves rolled up, and the jeans that make your ass look great. My boots. You threw your hair up in a ponytail. You were too tired to put makeup on this morning, so you’ve got your cute freckle thing goin’.**

**\----**

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Wed, Oct 14, 11:22 am)_

_Subject: Let’s play a game._

_Wait that’s...dead on. How’d you know that?_

_\----_

**To: Maggie Sawyer**

**From: Alex Danvers**

**(Wed, Oct 14, 11:24 am)**

**Subject: Let’s play a game.**

**Lucky guess.**

**\----**

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Wed, Oct 14, 11:25 am)_

_Subject: Let’s play a game._

_Alexandra Danvers, don’t you dare lie to me. I’m the police. In a room full of more police._

_\----_

**To: Maggie Sawyer**

**From: Alex Danvers**

**(Wed, Oct 14, 11:29 am)**

**Subject: Let’s play a game.**

**Eyes up front, Sawyer. I have a feeling you’re gonna like the special guest they’re about to announce.**

**\----**

The special guest is Alex.

//////

_To: Alex Danvers_

_From: Maggie Sawyer_

_(Thur, Oct 15, 2:01 am)_

_Subject: I got the girl_

_You were right, I really, really liked the special guest panelist. She was absolutely gorgeous. Like. Wow. The prettiest panelist to ever...panel?_

_Anyway, I got her number afterwards, wined and dined her, took her back to my hotel room, showed her a good time, and now she’s naked in my bed, fast asleep._

_(The super pretty and very naked lady is you. I know you know that, but if anyone ever hacks into my emails, I’d like the record to show I got to take you home)._

_All jokes aside though, watching you crush that panel today was_

“You waxed poetic that you couldn’t sleep without me and now I’m here and you’re _still_ writing emails?” Alex calls out while sitting up in bed, a wry grin on her face and sheets billowed at her hips as she watches Maggie huddled over her laptop.

Maggie laughs. “Hold on, I’m almost done.”

Maggie turns back to her laptop, finishing up -

_so awesome._

_I’m so proud of you, Alex. I love you. Forever._

-and pressing send. Maggie closes her laptop as Alex’s phone vibrates on the bedside table. Maggie crawls back onto the bed, hovering above Alex.

“You have an email.” Maggie smirks.

Alex growls, flipping them over so Maggie’s on her back, lips latching onto Maggie’s neck before starting her descent much lower. “I’m busy.”

/////

Later, Alex reaches over to her bedside table, grabbing her phone while Maggie sleeps cuddled against her side. She pulls up Maggie’s earlier email, dropping a kiss to Maggie’s head as she reads it.

Then, Alex jots out in response,

**To: Maggie Sawyer**

**From: Alex Danvers**

**(Thurs, Oct 15, 3:34 am)**

**Subject: I got the girl**

**I adore you.**


	13. mad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst, with a heaping side of fluff, because the show gives us enough angst and who needs that?

It starts as a small disagreement when Alex broaches the subject of mental health days, after a two-week-long marathon case has Maggie working 16 hour days without rest.

It spirals into a massive fight.

“You’re one to talk. I’ve seen you burn the midnight oil for weeks on end, too.”

“Yeah, but then J’onn forces me to take a day.”

Maggie scoffs. “That’s because J’onn actually gives a shit about you.”

“Bullshit. Kennedy cares about you the same way J’onn does me. I know he’d give you time off if you asked for it.”

“I’m fine, babe. Drop it.”

“What’s your deal, Maggie? I’m not saying run away to Fiji for a sabbatical, just take a freakin’ day to get some rest! You’re not a machine.” Alex steps forward, hands coming to rest on Maggie’s biceps as she softly admits, “You’re running yourself ragged. I’m worried about you.”

Too tired to process Alex’s words, Maggie can’t hear the concern behind the request. Only a suggestion of weakness. “Some of us had to work to get to our positions, Al. Not all of us have a guardian angel in high places who’ll give us a _friends and family discount_ when things get hard. There’s no room for me to slack off.”

The second the sentence leaves Maggie’s lips she clamps her hand over her mouth in regret, but it’s too late.

Alex crosses her arms, her features hardening. “Oh, really? So I haven’t _earned_ my job at the DEO? I don’t have to work _as hard as you_ to keep it?”

“Alex, no that’s not what I –“

“No, you know what. Save it. I’m late for the job I lucked into. Do whatever you want.” Alex grabs her jacket and storms out, the door slamming in her wake.

Alex doesn’t return until 11 pm that night, tiptoeing through the darkened apartment and into the bedroom. She notices Maggie huddled under the blankets, clutching Alex’s usual pillow, staring blankly as if Alex were a ghost.

Alex turns her back, changing in silence.

“You came back?” Maggie whispers, disbelief evident. 

Alex exhales as she slides into bed, keeping her back turned to Maggie. “A fight’s a fight, Maggie, it doesn’t mean I’m packing my bags - give me a little more credit than that. I’m still so mad at you, but I love you. I’ll always come home.”

Whatever Alex is expecting in response, it isn’t Maggie bursting into tears. Alex flips around, startled, gathering Maggie into her arms without hesitation despite having just asserted her frustration.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I feel like such an ass. You were just trying to help, I know that, I was just - I’m _so_ tired, Alex, I can’t even think - ugh, no that sounds like an excuse, which it’s not because there is no excuse, I…god damn it, what I’m trying to say is I didn’t mean what came out of my stupid mouth and I hate that I can’t take it back. I hate that I hurt you. Of course you’ve earned your job. You’re damn good at it, too.” Maggie sobs.

Alex says nothing but rocks Maggie gently until her girlfriend’s sobs quell to just sniffles.

“I know you’re sorry, baby, but that doesn’t mean this is over.” Alex whispers into Maggie’s hair once confident Maggie has calmed down enough to truly hear her. “There are things we need to address with fresh minds in the morning. But I promise, even when I’m upset, it doesn’t mean I stop loving you.”

“I love you, too.” Maggie wipes her nose with her sleeve, chastised and sheepish, as she pulls away from Alex. “I – um… I know I royally fucked up, but can I take you to breakfast tomorrow? I took the next two days off and I thought maybe we could talk over waffles? My treat.”

Alex nods, settling on her side of the bed without another word. A few minutes later, Alex glances over at Maggie, sighing at how small the woman looks exiled to her side of the bed. Though Maggie’s back is turned, Alex can tell by the hunch in her girlfriend’s shoulders that Maggie’s still crying. Alex taps Maggie’s shoulder; almost crying herself when Maggie’s devastated face peers back at her. Alex stretches her arm out in silent request for Maggie to snuggle in.

She's glad to have extended the olive branch when Maggie practically scrambles into her embrace; head coming to rest on Alex’s chest, her nose pressed into Alex’s neck. “My exes were right; I am an insensitive jerk.” Maggie whimpers.

Alex presses a kiss to the crown of Maggie’s head and closes her eyes, her last vestiges of anger morphing into compassion while Maggie’s silent tears soak her skin. “Sweetheart, stop. They’re wrong and you know it. Everyone says things they don’t mean sometimes, especially under stress. The next time _you’re_ pissed off at _me_ and it’s _my_ turn to grovel, I’m reminding you of this exact moment.” Alex jokes, relieved when she feels Maggie’s muffled snort and mumbled “thank you” against her skin.

Alex trails her hand through Maggie’s hair, gently scratching Maggie’s scalp and easing them both into much needed slumber. She knows they have some hard conversations to face in the morning, but as she revels in Maggie’s weight settled against her side, she also knows that for as infuriating as Maggie can be, she wouldn’t trade this for the world.


	14. sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter brought to you by my common cold. The next two days are on the shorter side, but I promise I'll make it up to you in the coming days - we've got some doozies comin' up.

Maggie gets sick one month into dating Alex, right at the precipice of their relationship shifting from casual to exclusive.

Alex only learns Maggie’s sick because an officer reluctantly reveals it when Alex shows up to a joint DEO / NCPD op and demands to know why Maggie is absent. 

When she hears  _ Maggie’s out sick,  _ Alex wraps up in the field as quickly as possible, heads to the supermarket to gather supplies for a sick day care package, and heads to Maggie’s apartment to surprise her with TLC. 

Alex’s heart breaks when Maggie’s puffy sad eyes greet her at the door. 

“You shouldn’t be here. I’m in quarantine. I’m dying.” Maggie rests her head on the door wearily.

Alex steps inside, ushing Maggie back towards the couch after she drops the soup and meds on the counter. “You’re not dying, Maggie.”

“I work in the  _ science _ division. I’ve seen some messed up stuff. Never know which alien goo is the one that’ll kill ya ‘til it does.” Maggie flops down onto the couch, blanket burrito-ing herself. 

“Or, it’s December and human influenza season.” 

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I crossed paths with an Infernian bleeding neon green two days ago and now, bam. Death.” 

“You’re a hypochondriac.” Alex realizes, kneeling down beside Maggie, but there’s no judgment in her voice. Just soft understanding.

“Psh, no don’t be ridiculous. I just-“ Maggie pauses to cough before finishing lamely, “-know what’s out there, waiting to get me.” 

Alex tucks a strand of greasy hair behind Maggie’s ear before climbing onto the couch, snuggling in flush against Maggie’s body. 

Maggie tries to wiggle away, looking a little frantic, trapped between Alex and the back of the couch. “Babe, please. What if I have something deadly and take you out with me? You’re too pretty to be dead.” 

Alex presses her lips to Maggie’s slightly warm forehead, humming softly. “I’m a  _ scientist _ . I know a thing or two about germs. If I’m worried, then you should be worried. The common cold doesn’t worry me. Now stop moving and let me cuddle you and your Infernian germs, please.”

Maggie opens her mouth to protest again, but sneezes instead. Alex offers her a tissue with a knowing eye. 

Maggie wipes her nose before finally relenting, snuggling into Alex’s embrace, too tired to keep up the charade. “Any chance you’ll forget that getting sick freaks me out? I have an image I’m trying to protect, here.” Maggie whispers. 

Alex snorts. “Mags, you cried for three hours after we saw  _ Coco.  _ I already know you’re a closet mush.”


	15. tremble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for the flip - we have Maggie taking care of Alex when vulnerable

_ I need you. _

Maggie reads the text from Alex and her blood runs cold. She calls Alex immediately, muttering  _ pick up, pick up, pick up _ but Alex never does and the call goes to voicemail. But before Maggie can properly spiral, Alex sends a text.

_ Sorry. Panic Attack. Home. _

“Oh, Alex.” Maggie breathes out in sympathy, grabbing her keys. “Hey, Smith, I gotta duck out. Family emergency.” 

“No worries, I’ll cover for ya. Hope Alex is okay.”

_ Me too,  _ Maggie thinks as she rushes out the door. 

She’s at Alex’s apartment in under twenty minutes, taking the stairs two at a time rather than wait for the elevator. She tumbles into Alex’s apartment and finds Alex sitting on the couch. Maggie clocks how her girlfriend’s hands twist nervously and methodically; how her legs jiggle anxiously; how her gaze is fixated forward, too lost in her thoughts to hear Maggie’s entrance.

Maggie kneels down in front of her girlfriend, her hands resting on Alex’s knees. “Alex? Hey, hey, sweetheart…look at me.” 

Alex’s wide eyes meet Maggie’s. Maggie winces when she notices they’re unfocused and hazy. 

Maggie smiles softly. “Hey, you. Havin’ a pretty rough one, huh?”

Alex nods, her breath coming in quick gulps. Maggie takes Alex’s hand, placing their joined palms over her heart.

“Focus on my heartbeat for now, ‘kay? I know your heart feels a little crazy but luckily my heart beats for you so let mine work for both of us right now.” Any other day, Maggie would scoff at how  _ trite  _ and  _ cliche  _ she sounds. But as she helplessly watches Alex suffer, all Maggie cares about is making sure her girlfriend knows that she’s not alone. That she’ll never be alone.

It takes a few minutes of Maggie softly reminding Alex that  _ it’s okay, you’ll be okay, I’m here with you  _ before Alex’s breathing returns to normal. Once Maggie’s sure Alex can handle a bit more stimulation, Maggie reaches behind Alex for the blanket on the couch. “I’m gonna come sit next to you and wrap this around us, you’re trembling. That good?”

“Yeah.” Alex replies shakily, her hand still resting on Maggie’s chest as Maggie resettles on the couch. 

Maggie wraps her arms around Alex, cocooning Alex and herself in the blanket, squeezing her with light pressure. Maggie presses her lips to the side of Alex’s head, rocking them back and forth. 

“Better?” Maggie finally asks several minutes later when she feels the tension finally leave Alex’s body.

Alex nods, slumping down so her head rests in Maggie’s lap. “Sorry. I don’t know why I texted you - I feel a little dumb. Guess it’s been a while since I’ve had a panic attack that bad.”

“Babe, no. I’m so glad you texted me. I’ll  _ always  _ come if you need me. Doesn’t matter if it’s for a paper cut or a meltdown.”

“Thank you.” Alex sighs, her hand resting on Maggie’s thigh as her thumb trails along back and forth. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Maggie asks, her fingers carding through Alex’s hair. 

“Maybe later? I need a minute out of my head.”

“Of course.” Maggie leans over Alex to grab the remote from the table, pressing a kiss to Alex’s temple before sitting back up to turn on the TV. She sets the volume low and flips to a rerun of Will and Grace.

“Thanks for being here, Maggie.” Alex whispers.

“Always, Danvers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: panic attacks look different for everyone, and everyone has different needs when they experience panic attacks. This was written with my frame of reference for what panic looks like for me, but I recognize there are other ways that panic manifests. And that what may work for me might not work for you. 
> 
> I see you, for those of you whose suffering may look different. You are not alone.


	16. diamond

They’ve talked about it. 

About buying a house together and growing old together; about whether kids were on the table and how to share finances while still maintaining monetary autonomy. 

They’ve talked about forever.

The day after they talked about how,  _ one day, we’ll say I do,  _ Alex bought a ring. Small and elegant, classy in the way that only Maggie could be. 

And then Alex panicked, because while marriage had been discussed, they decided to keep  _ proposing  _ a surprise, and now Alex had a ring burning in her pocket and no idea how to give Maggie the proposal she deserved. 

She spent a month waiting for the right moment that never came. 

But now, as she lay here in their shared bed, Maggie’s arm slung around her waist, their hands linked on the mattress as Maggie’s soft and steady breaths puff against Alex’s back, Alex no longer cares about the right moment. 

All she cares about is making sure she can wake up to  _ this  _ moment, forever.

And so she squeezes Maggie’s hand in her own, pressing Maggie’s knuckles to her mouth as Maggie slowly wakes up. 

Maggie presses a kiss to Alex’s shoulder with a groggy, “Morning, babe.” 

Alex flips around, sharing Maggie’s pillow, their foreheads barely touching. “I love you” Alex breathes out, her voice soft and sincere and  _ scared _ . 

“Toldja you’re gettin’ soft on me.” Maggie teases, trying to ease the tension she feels radiating off Alex.

Alex twists around to her bedside drawer, opening it and rifling around before pulling out a ring. She turns back, her hand shaking with nerves as she settles her head back onto Maggie’s pillow, whispering into their shared space, 

“I’ve had this for a month, just waiting for the right moment, but nothing ever felt right. I think it’s because the only time anything feels right is when it’s just me and you. No frills, no fuss, just us.”

Maggie’s eyes well with tears as Alex continues, “I thought I needed to say all the cliché things and give you a sweeping proposal, but I didn’t fall in love with you over grand gestures. I fell in love with you during our quiet moments and I fall more in love with you every morning, waking up next to you, here in our bed. So…”

Alex sits up, holding the ring between her fingers, “Maggie Sawyer, will you wake up next to me every day for the rest of our lives as my wife?”

Maggie sits up, too, tears falling as she darts out of bed, opening her sock draw and pulling out a ring. She scrambles onto the bed, presenting the ring to Alex. “Only if you’ll do the same for me.” 

Alex gasps as her own tears start falling. She nods happily, leaning forward to kiss Maggie. They both pull back, placing the rings on each others’ fingers before Alex takes Maggie’s face in her hands, kissing her again. 

“Do you know how stressful those 10 seconds where after I  _ asked you to marry me _ and you  _ ran away _ ?” Alex laughs against Maggie’s lips. 

“I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to propose to  _ you _ . I didn’t wanna ruin it by saying anything because you gave us the perfect moment.” Maggie shifts, straddling Alex and maneuvering so she’s lying down, Maggie hovering above her. “You’re so perfect, Alex Danvers, and I’m so lucky I get to be your wife.” 


	17. simple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna lighten things up today with a playful snapshot.
> 
> Tomorrow, we enter day 1 of a 3-parter that has a vaguely more plot driven narrative as a thank you for sticking with me through these one-offs. Be sure to tune in if that's your thing.

When Alex first moves to National City, she only buys the bare essentials.

_Why buy a whole bunch of stuff when I spend all my time at the DEO?,_ she argues.

As time passes and she finds more of a work/life balance, she slowly fills out her apartment, but never gets around to buying a second nightstand for her bedroom.

_Screw feng shui - another nightstand is a waste. Not like anyone’s here to need it._

But then Maggie becomes a steady fixture in her life and between her sheets, and Alex decides that maybe it’s time to give her girlfriend her own bedside table for when she stays over.

_Though I do love that my current set up means she has to crawl over me to reach her phone._

So Alex heads to Ikea one Saturday, intent on building Maggie a nightstand as a surprise, but quickly grows frustrated at the tiny screws and lack of clarity as to where said screws go.

Eventually, she decides to cut her losses and call in reinforcements. Alex picks up her phone, tapping out a text to Maggie:

**What’re you doin’ tonight?**

_Depends._

**On what?**

_Why you’re asking._

**I got another nightstand from Ikea. Thought maybe you’d wanna be a lesbian stereotype with me tonight? Build furniture together. Drink some whiskey. Maybe wear flannel.**

_It’s okay that you can’t build a simple nightstand, Alex. You can just say, “Ikea bested me and I need your help”. I love you just the same._

**Are you coming or not, hotshot?**

_I’ll be there around 6 to show you how the pro lesbos do it._

_////_

“I thought you were a pro, babe.” Alex mocks that night when Maggie pulls back to look at the table from her perch on the living room floor, frowning when she finally notices that one leg jets out at an opposite angle from the others.

Maggie huffs, finger rubbing under her lip in frustration. “You’re _sure_ you didn’t lose any parts? This makes no sense.”

“I love you just the same,” Alex singsongs as she crawls behind Maggie, hands settling on Maggie’s hips. She rests her chin on Maggie’s shoulder, kissing just below Maggie’s ear, laughing slightly at how ridiculous the table looks. 

Maggie flips through the instruction manual again. “This isn’t over yet. Hand me that wrench?” Maggie points vaguely to her right.

Alex kisses Maggie’s neck once more before crawling away to hand the tool to her grumpy girlfriend.

/////

Later, as they lay naked on the couch with unbuilt chaos surrounding them, they decide that while Maggie may not be a pro lesbian in the shed, she’s _definitely_ one in bed.


	18. found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember way back on Day One? When I warned you that we'd be non-linear, except for when we WERE linear, in which case I'd warn you at the top?
> 
> Well I'm warning you. Today is Day One of Three in an AU world that's (only a little bit) more plotty than the random snippets you've read thus far. 
> 
> This exists in the world I think we all wish were real - a world in which Alex and Maggie are happy and married. Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!

Maggie’s clearing the scene after a routine call goes south when the rustling of a blanket in a bedroom catches her eye. She pulls out her gun, crouching down at the foot of the bed, peeking under it. She has to hold in a gasp when she finds a little girl, who Maggie guesses can’t be older than six, laying stomach first with her forehead on the floor and hands covering her tiny ears.

_Crap. The kid was there the whole time._

Maggie quickly re-holsters her gun and radioes in, “We’ve got a skittish stow-away in the upstairs bedroom. Requesting all units stand down from the room, please.”

“Copy, Sawyer.”

Maggie walks around the bed so she can come face to face with the little girl. She kneels down, lifting the blanket up slightly and peering at the little girl staring back at her, wide-eyed and terrified.

“Hey, kiddo. Mind if I come join you, there? I’m a good guy.” Maggie asks softly, pointing to her badge at her hip.

The little girl nods. Maggie crawls feet first under the bed, mirroring the kid’s position.

“My name’s Maggie. Yours?”

“Jamie.”

“Good name. You been down here a while, Jamie?”

Jamie nods again, biting her lip.

“You heard all the scary stuff then, huh?”

The little girl’s lip trembles as she nods.

“This is a really good hiding spot. You’re very smart.”

“I hafta hide a lot.” Jamie whispers as Maggie raises an eyebrow, her training in abuse and trauma kicking in. Before Maggie can prod further, Jamie whispers again, “Are they dead?”, though the look on her face tells Maggie that Jamie already knows what happend.

“I’m sorry, Jamie. Your parents -”

“Mr. and Mrs. Carroll aren’t my parents. Mrs. Johnson sent me to live here for a little because I don’t have a family.”

“Jesus.” Maggie mutters.

Jamie’s eyes well with tears. “Do the bad guys know I’m here? Are they coming to get me again?”

_There’s a special place in hell for everyone who ever laid a hand on this kid_ Maggie thinks, her protective instincts in overdrive the more time she spends under the bed with Jamie.

Maggie reaches out, placing a tentative hand atop Jamie’s when she’s sure Jamie won’t startle at the contact. “No sweetheart, you did a great job stayin’ quiet until it was safe. I’m so sorry you were alone, though, that must’ve been super scary.”

Overwhelmed, Jamie bursts into tears. Maggie scoots over, arm wrapping around Jamie’s shoulders as she tucks her head next to Jamie’s, hugging her as best as she can in the tight space and gently cooing in the little girl’s ear to calm her down.

“Sawyer, you good?” Maggie’s radio crackles to life. Maggie pulls back from Jamie just enough to answer -

“Yeah, comin’ down with my new pal Jamie, now. We’re gonna need to call CPS.”

“Copy.”

Maggie turns her attention to Jamie, rubbing her back while Jamie hiccups. “I can’t leave you here alone, you know that, right?”

Jamie sniffles. “Where am I gonna go now?”

Maggie chews her lip, hatching a plan in her head. She refuses to make any false promises though, so for now, she asks, “Wanna take a ride with me in my cop car? Mrs. Johnson is gonna meet us at the precinct.”

“Okay.” Jamie breathes out. They crawl out from under the bed, and Maggie stays down at Jamie’s height, wiping the tears from the little girl’s eyes. She shrugs off her police blazer, wrapping it around Jamie’s even tinier frame.

“Can I carry you out, peanut? It’s a little messy downstairs and I don’t want you to get hurt.” Maggie requests, the term of endearment slipping out effortlessly.

Jamie nods again and Maggie scoops her up, readjusting the blazer as best she can to shield Jamie from seeing the carnage. While Maggie carries her down the stairs, Jamie’s gaze remains fixated on Maggie’s necklace, fiddling with it as she rests her head against Maggie’s shoulder. 

Maggie’s struck by the realization that this little girl has been through enough shit to know that she shouldn’t be looking around as she’s carried out.

And it breaks Maggie’s heart.

////

Later, after talking to Jamie’s caseworker and learning her _plan_ could be _reality_ as long as Alex is on board, Maggie calls her wife with the pitch.

“Hey, you.” Alex answers easily.

“Hey, you somewhere private?”

“I’m in my office. Why, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine but long story short, I just got back from an alien B&E. Two civilian fatalities but there was a little girl in the house we didn’t know about. I found her hiding under the bed after and...she’s a foster kid, Al and now she has no one again. So I was thinking, you know how we signed up to be emergency fosters? Maybe we could - “

“Yes, of course. That poor girl.”

“Are you sure? I know it’s a lot to take on but you’ve gotta see this kid, babe. She’s so sweet and she’s kinda attached to my hip right now - I mean, literally. She’s on my hip sleeping right now. I just want to give her a good place to land for a bit, she’s only 5 for fu-.”

“Maggie. I don’t need to be convinced and don’t curse in front of the kid.” Alex jokes as Maggie lets out a relieved laugh. “What do you need from me to make it happen?”

“We’re already in the system so there shouldn’t be too much red tape but can you come down here? I think you should meet her before we take her home.”

“I’ll wrap up now and head your way.”

“Thanks. Oh, wait - can you swing by the scene first? She’s got this stuffed puppy I didn’t know about until just now otherwise I would’ve grabbed it. I think it’d make her feel a lot better. Forensics should still be down there taking prints. They’ll let you in, just flash your badge.”

“Of course. I’ll grab some clothes for her while I’m there, too.”

“You’re amazing.”

“So are you. Just text me the address, please.”

“I will. See you soon.”

////

Alex nearly melts on the spot when she walks into the precinct and finds Maggie at her desk with Jamie cuddled against her chest, thumb in her mouth and out cold.

Alex walks up to Maggie, hand trailing across Maggie’s shoulders as she leans down to kiss her wife in greeting before gently brushing Jamie’s hair away from her face.

“This her?” Alex asks softly.

Maggie nods, “She’s cute, right?”

“Extremely” Alex sighs, tears in her eyes as she squats down to get a closer look at the little girl snoozing against her wife’s chest. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s terrified, Al. She hasn’t let me put her down since we left the scene. It’s -”

The rumbling of Maggie’s chest as she speaks rouses Jamie and she jolts awake. Her arms wrap around Maggie, flinching upon seeing Alex peering at her.

Maggie rests her cheek atop Jamie’s head, squeezing her closer to her body as she whispers, “It’s okay, Jamie, that’s my wife, Alex. Remember I told you about her?”

Jamie relaxes, thumb back in her mouth as she blinks at Alex, calmer but still visibly frightened.

“Hi, Jamie. It’s very nice to meet you.” Alex smiles.

Jamie mumbles “hi” around her thumb, embarrassed. She ducks her face into Maggie sternum, trying to hide.

Alex reaches into her bag, pulling out a worn stuffed puppy, propping it on Maggie’s armrest in front of Jamie. “Maggie told me you were missing your friend here, so I went to go get him for you. Hope that’s okay.” Alex shakes it as Jamie’s eyes widen. Jamie sits up, grabbing the puppy and hugging it tightly.

Then, Jamie launches into Alex so forcefully that, if not for Maggie’s quick reflexes, Alex would’ve gone tumbling backwards. Jamie’s arms wrap around Alex’s neck as the puppy hangs from Jamie’s hand in a vice grip. “Thank you, Alex.”

Alex looks up at Maggie, eyes shining with happy tears as Maggie winks down at her. Alex pulls back, tapping Jamie’s nose with her finger playfully. “You’re welcome, sweetheart”

Jamie blushes, tucking the puppy back in her arms and curling back against Maggie’s chest, a smile on her face for the first time since Maggie found her.

Alex stands, perching on Maggie’s desk. “Everything squared away?”

Maggie hums, pushing some paperwork towards Alex. “Almost. You’ve just gotta sign these and then go meet with Alice to answer a few questions. Then this one - “ Maggie pokes Jamie’s side playfully as Jamie squirms “-comes home with us.”

Alex signs the paperwork swiftly. When she finishes, she places a gentle hand on Jamie’s back, leaning down to kiss Maggie before dropping a kiss to Jamie’s head. “I’ll be right back and then how about we go get some pizza?”

Jamie mumbles “yes, please” as Maggie cuddles Jamie close, proud of the 5-year-old for speaking up. Maggie looks up at Alex and echoes, “What she said.”

Alex scoffs. “Like I thought _you’d_ turn down pizza.” She kisses Maggie again before departing with a pat on Maggie’s shoulder.

“She’s really nice.” Jamie whispers when Alex leaves.

“She’s the best, peanut. You’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Women not wanting kids is real, and TOTALLY FINE. 
> 
> But I'm not sure I buy Maggie Sawyer not wanting kids. Her character is 100 percent someone who would be an incredible foster / adoptive mother, and I will die on that soapbox.


	19. hammock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 3. If you missed yesterdays, you should go back and read it.
> 
> More family AU fluff.

Maggie and Alex decide to extend  _ emergency fostering _ into  _ fostering  _ until suddenly, Jamie’s celebrating her one year anniversary with the Sawyer-Danvers’. 

They spend it in Midvale, surrounded by family. 

////

_ What a difference a year makes _ , Maggie muses as she and Alex lay huddled on the hammock while Jamie runs around with Kara in Eliza’s backyard, playing fetch with their dog, Bailey. 

As Maggie watches Jamie play, she notices the way Jamie glances at the hammock every few minutes, making sure Alex and Maggie are still there. She notices how Jamie lets out a little sigh of relief each time she sees that they’re not gone, that she’s not alone again. Maggie notices the way Jamie looks longingly at them, still too shy to initiate affection but quite clearly wishing she were cuddling on the hammock, too. 

Even though they’re only 100 feet apart, they’ve been working through Jamie’s separation anxiety for the better part of a year. Maggie knows Jamie’s feeling a little overwhelmed by the weight of this weekend. 

With a raised eyebrow towards Alex and Kara’s help, Kara recruits Jamie into a “secret” mission of  _ tip Maggie and Alex off the hammock,  _ gently luring Jamie closer to where she wants to be. 

Alex waits it out until Jamie’s within easy reach before pulling the little girl onto the hammock and flipping the game into a rescue mission of _ Supergirl saves Jamie from the cuddle monsters.  _

A rescue mission that has Jamie shrieking with delight.

///

Later, Alex rests under Maggie’s arm, watching Jamie’s face as the six-year-old naps stomach first and splayed across Alex and Maggie’s torsos, limbs all jumbled in a cuddled heap. Jamie’s thumb is planted solidly in her mouth, but there’s an unmistakable ghost of a smile around her thumb. 

Alex smoothes the hair away from Jamie’s face tenderly, mourning all she and Maggie missed of Jamie’s early life. She jumps slightly when Maggie’s timid voice cuts the silence.

“I don’t know if I could ever give her back, Alex.” Maggie whispers, her fingers trailing soothingly across Jamie’s back. “I know we went into this as fosters but…what if…what if we considered adopting her?” 

Alex gasps, surprised but  _ happy _ . Maggie mistakes her  _ happiness _ for  _ alarm _ though, and quickly backpedals. “Sorry, that’s not fair. We agreed –“

“We should adopt her.” Alex smiles as she adds, “I mean, look at her. How could anyone  _ not  _ want her?” 

Just then, Jamie blinks awake, offering Alex a sleepy smile. Alex’s finger trails along Jamie’s brow and Jamie flops her hand over her eyes as she shifts her head, hiding her face into Maggie’s sternum, bashful under Alex’s gaze. Alex gently pries Jamie’s hand from her eyes, pressing a kiss to it before letting their joined hands rest above Alex’s heart.

(It’s not lost on Maggie how softly Alex tries to teach Jamie that it’s okay to be seen. That they  _ want  _ to see her.

It’s not lost on Maggie how beautiful it is, watching Alex become a mother.)

“You have a good nap, sweetheart?” Alex coos.

“Mhmm.” Jamie yawns, idly playing with Alex’s fingers. 

The three of them lay there for a few moments, listening to the chirping crickets as Jamie slowly wakes up.

Eventually, Maggie pokes at Jamie’s side, laughing as Jamie squirms. Grunting when Jamie’s elbow makes contact with her rib. “It’s almost dinnertime, peanut. Can you go wash your hands before we eat, please? Tell Eliza we’ll be in soon.”

“Okay.” Jamie climbs off the hammock, squealing as it sways with her clumsy movements. Maggie keeps a protective arm around Jamie’s back until she’s planted on the ground and steady on her feet. Jamie offers a quick “thank you” before she runs into the house, Bailey at her heels, leaving Alex and Maggie to finish their conversation. 

“You really mean it?” Maggie asks, falling into a ramble as she shifts onto her side to face Alex, “Because we can’t start this process only to realize it’s not right for us and then she has to go back into the system; it’s not fair to her. If we do this, we have to be all in, she’s been through so mu---“

Alex interrupts Maggie with a kiss. “I know, babe. She kinda fell into our laps but I’m so glad she did.” Alex drops another chaste kiss on Maggie’s lips, leaving her hand to cup Maggie’s cheek. “We can do this. We  _ should  _ do this.” 

“We can do this.” Maggie repeats, kissing Alex again before chewing her own lip. “Okay, so I guess we should talk to the agency first and get the adoption rolling. Then when we know for sure we’ll be approved, we…what? Ask Jamie if she wants us? And if she does, we…have a kid? That’s how this goes?”

Alex laughs at Maggie’s reductiveness, entirely endeared. “Yeah. That’s roughly the plan.”

“You guysssss come onnnnn, I’m hungry.” Jamie yells out to them from the back door.

“Yeah you guys, come onnnn, we’re hungry.” Kara echoes as Jamie high fives Kara in thanks for the support.

“I don’t think you need to worry about her turning us down when the day comes.” Alex chuckles as she climbs over Maggie, brushing her nose playfully against Maggie’s before landing on solid ground. Alex reaches out her hand, helping Maggie climb out of the hammock. 

They walk hand in hand back into the house, the sun setting in the distance and smiles on their faces, content in knowledge that one day soon, Jamie’s presence in their lives will be forever. 


	20. forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 of 3. If you haven't read the last two, you should go back and refresh.
> 
> ALSO, there's a subtle reference to Chapter 16 in this one. No need to read that one to get this one, but...close readers will (hopefully) get it / appreciate the reference.

_ Thank you! Thank you, Sam I am, _ Maggie reads the final line of  _ Green Eggs and Ham _ as they sit huddled together on Jamie’s bed before bedtime, Jamie sandwiched between Maggie and Alex. Maggie closes the book and places it on Jamie’s bedside table.

“That’s a really funny book.” Jamie asserts happily, leaning against Alex.

Alex grins down at her. “Just wait ‘til you get to  _ Fox in Socks _ .”

Jamie’s eyes light up. “Can we read it tonight? Please?” Jamie begs, blinking up at Maggie.

Maggie tucks Jamie’s hair behind her ear, a soft smile on her face. “Not tonight, peanut. It’s getting late and we wanna talk to you about something before bed.”

Jamie bites her lip, trying to hide how it wobbles. “I hafta go to another family, now?” 

Alex gathers Jamie into her arms, her words playful enough for the little girl but solemn in sincerity, “Nope. No other family can have you, you’re ours.” 

Jamie sinks into Alex’s arms, soaking in the affection. Maggie watches for a moment, awed by how seamlessly Alex opened the conversation up while putting Jamie at ease. 

Alex gives her a subtle nod, prodding Maggie to broach the subject. 

“Speaking of ours... Alex and I were hoping…wait. No, it’s not about us. Ugh, you’re better at this, Alex, you do it.” Maggie stutters, blowing some hair out of her face in frustration as Jamie pulls out of Alex’s embrace. She sits up in Alex’s lap, her hands reaching out to clumsily cup Maggie’s cheeks. 

“You don’t hafta be the best, you just hafta try.” Jamie says earnestly. 

Maggie laughs at her own words being thrown in her face, reaching out to cup Jamie’s cheeks, mirroring her. “Wise words, little lady.” 

While Jamie beams at the praise, Alex looks over the little girl’s head, offering a wink that grounds Maggie. Maggie pulls Jamie into her lap, taking a deep breath. 

“You’re right. Let’s try this again.” Maggie drops a kiss to Jamie’s cheek before continuing, “Alex and I have a very serious question for you, and we want your answer to be how you feel, not what you think the right answer is – because there isn’t a right answer. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Do you like living here?”

“This is the best place ever!” Jamie answers easily, before quickly growing alarmed. “You believe me, right? Because I’m not lying, I promise! Please don’t send me away. Please. I’m sorry I asked for another story, I won’t be bad again!” Jamie shrieks as she clings to Maggie, growing frantic.

“Whoa hey, shhhh, it’s okay, baby. You didn’t do anything wrong and we’re not sending you away.” Maggie presses a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head, before gently tilting Jamie’s chin up to meet her gaze, thumbing away Jamie’s tears. “I believe you. We’re only asking because we love you so much and…well...um….”

Maggie trails off and Alex finally jumps in, taking pity on her wife. “Jamie, we want this to be your home forever. We want to be your mommies, if you want us to be your mommies.”

“Really?” Jamie asks, shocked.

“Yup.” Alex smiles as she loops her arm around Maggie’s shoulders.

Jamie wraps one arm around Maggie, hugging tightly while her other hand fists Alex’s shirt in her palm, whispering into Maggie’s chest, “No more hiding?”

Maggie chokes back a sob, cradling the back of Jamie’s head to her body. “No more hiding. You’re safe now, we promise.” 

Jamie pops out of the embrace. “What’s my last name gonna be?”

Maggie startles at the non-sequitur. “Oh. Um…well I guess it’ll become Sawyer-Danvers, like us.” 

Jamie jumps off the bed without a response, leaving Maggie and Alex confused in her wake as they watch Jamie from the bed. Alex turns to Maggie, bewildered as she whispers, “Why do all the women I love run away after I propose?” 

Maggie snorts, shouldering her playfully. 

Jamie sits at her desk, pulling out some paper and markers. She turns in the chair, looking back. “How do I write it?”

“Write what?” Alex asks.

“Sawyer-Danvers! I gotta practice my name for school tomorrow!” 

Alex and Maggie climb off the bed, crossing the room to squat on either side of Jamie. Maggie presses a kiss to Jamie’s temple as Alex starts spelling out Jamie’s new last name. Tears shining in both Alex and Maggie’s eyes as Jamie writes the wobbly letters, the young girl’s tongue popping out in concentration.

“Like this?” Jamie proudly presents when she’s finished. 

“Yeah, peanut. That’s perfect” Alex answers as she grabs Jamie into a hug with one arm, her other hand reaching out to swipe the tear on Maggie’s cheek. 

“Okay, now how do I write ‘thank you mommy and mama’?”


	21. companion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much shorter one today. Sorry!
> 
> Also, I'm super behind on replying to comments - but please know I've read them all and will respond as soon as I can! Thank you so much for sticking with me day after day this month!

A few months after Alex survives the tank, they decide it’s time to start making good on some of the firsts Maggie begged Alex to hold on for.

The first _first_ they tackle is: _get a dog together_. Which is how Maggie and Alex find themselves at a shelter adoption event one Sunday afternoon, surrounded by barking dogs and squealing children.

They walk through the maze of dogs hand in hand, stopping every foot to play with the puppies that jump up to greet them, until Maggie eyes an older German Shepherd huddling in a corner.

Maggie releases Alex’s hand, making a beeline towards the quiet dog.

“What’s her name?” Maggie asks the volunteer sitting a few feet away.

“Bailey. She’s recently retired off the police force. Rough estimates place her at 9 years old. A little skittish since her owner died, but very sweet.”

Bailey’s ears perk up at mention of her name as Maggie squats down, sticking her hand out for Bailey to sniff.

“Aw, you’re a good girl, Bailey, aren’t ya.” Maggie coos as Bailey susses the woman out. Once deemed safe, Bailey gently nuzzles Maggie’s hand, encouraging a head scratch.

Maggie sits down and the dog curls up in Maggie’s lap, turning into a 50 pound lap dog. Maggie falls in love instantly.

Alex wanders over, smiling when she sees Maggie’s lap occupied.

“Babe, look at her!” Maggie cuddles the dog, blinking up at Alex with full fledged dimples on display.

Alex squats down, offering her hand out. This time, Bailey takes less time sniffing out the human before her, quickly nudging Alex’s hand to pet her head.

“Oh crap, she’s cute.” Alex sighs.

“Can we take her home? She was a cop! You love cops!” Maggie begs as she rests her head on top of Bailey’s.

“A cop, huh?” Alex smirks. Bailey drops a paw into Alex’s lap, and Alex is sold. “Alright Gertrude, lets go.” Alex stands, patting her legs as Bailey stands at the command.

Maggie follows, standing as well as she points out, “Uh, babe? Shouldn’t we keep Bailey’s name? She’s had it for 9 years…”

“She came when I called her Gertrude, did she not?” Alex refutes.

“That’s because you patted your legs and said _Gertrude_ in a high pitched voice! I bet if I said _hey, stupid_ and did what you did, she’d come, too!”

Alex bends down again, covering Bailey’s ears. “Hey. My baby Gertrude is not stupid.”

“Oh, now she’s _your_ baby.” Maggie rolls her eyes, but can’t keep the smile off her face.

“Don’t listen to her, Gertie.” Alex talks to the dog as the German Shepherd licks Alex’s face. “Mama’s just jealous of your super cool new name.”

“Yeah, That’s it.” Maggie laughs, pulling Alex up to kiss her before linking their arms. “Come on, let’s go adopt Bailey.”

“Gertrude.”

/////

“Maggie?” Alex calls out later as her hand hovers over the adoption papers.

“Yeah, babe?”

I can’t do it.” Alex glances over at Maggie, forlorn. “We can’t re-name her Gertrude. All the other dogs will make fun of her.”

“Oh, thank God.” Maggie sighs, squatting down to scratch under Bailey’s chin.


	22. defend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one picks up directly off that super sad scene where Maggie's dad abandons her all over again at her bridal shower. I think that was episode 3x03? Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. 
> 
> This is intended to function as snippets of stuff we didn't see in between the canon scenes of Maggie's dad marching off and Maggie's goodbye at the bus stop. 
> 
> I don't love this one. My apologies...I'm starting to get burnt out from daily writing but I WILL SEE THIS THROUGH FOR YOU.

Maggie doesn’t know why she’s surprised when her Dad storms off, leaving Maggie alone by the dumpster. The metaphor isn’t lost on her:  _ he left me on the curb like trash once, why’d I think this time would be any different? _

Maggie angrily swipes the tears from her eyes, watching her father’s silhouette fade in the distance. There’s a small, secret, part of her that hopes that  _ maybe  _ her father will feel guilty for abandoning her again. That  _ maybe, _ after coming all this way in the first place, he’ll turn around and this time will different.

But this time isn’t different.

And so, just like last time, she pulls herself together and forges on. 

_ //// _

“Everything okay?” Alex asks when Maggie returns to the party. 

Maggie shrugs off Alex’s concern with a breezy smile. “Yeah, it’s whatever. Party’s better without him.” 

Alex eyes Maggie carefully, debating how much further to press, but ultimately decides to follow Maggie’s lead. She gives Maggie a quick peck on the cheek before turning her attention back to the party at hand. 

She keeps a gentle hand on the small of Maggie’s back for the remainder of the night

////.

Maggie does such a good job holding it together that Alex almost believes Maggie  _ is _ fine, until the party ends and Maggie’s facade crumbles. 

Alex pulls Maggie onto the couch the second Maggie’s tears start falling, laying down so Maggie can rest atop her. Alex pulls her fingers through Maggie’s hair, trying to soothe her as Maggie finally gives into years of pent up frustration and disappointment. 

“Why’d he even come, Alex? Why not just say,  _ ‘sorry, no thanks, enjoy hell’ _ ? Why’d he give me stupid hope that I actually meant something to him? I was doing  _ fine  _ without him.”

It eats Alex alive that she has none of the answers Maggie wants. 

All Alex can do is hold Maggie through the night.

/////

The next morning, Alex sneaks out of bed, leaving a post it note on her pillow that promises she’ll return soon with muffins and coffee.

It’s not a lie, per say. She just omits the first errand on her list.

////

Alex rubs the palms of her hands nervously before tapping on the hotel door. Maggie’s father opens it just as Alex reaches out to knock again, not at all surprised.

“Mr. Rodas, can I come in?”

He nods, opening the door wider, allowing Alex to step in. 

Alex barely waits for the door to close before she asks, “Why’d you come?”

“What kind of father would I be to turn down an invitation to support my daughter?”

“You’ve got a funny way of showing support.”

Oscar rolls his eyes. “You don’t understand -”

“No, I don’t think  _ you  _ understand, sir. Do you know what Maggie did last night?

“If I know my daughter, she picked herself up and went back to the party.”

Alex clenches her jaw, leaning against the wall. “I held Maggie as she sobbed herself to sleep because her estranged father showed up at her engagement party just to kick her in the face again.”

Oscar looks a little chastised. “That’s not what happened. I really thought - but then seeing…” 

Before Alex can get angry at the presumed end to the sentence, her future father-in-law redirects his thought,  “It’s hard enough in this country. I wanted it to be  _ better  _ for her.” Oscar walks to the window, gaze fixated outside as he finishes, “I want her to have a good life.”

“You know, Maggie told me something similar once. I can see where she gets her protective instincts from.” Alex muses, averting her gaze to give Oscar a moment to wipe the tear from his eye. When it’s clear Oscar has nothing to say in response, Alex continues,

“I know I’m not what you expected for your daughter, but I love her, Mr. Rodas. I’d do anything for her. I’ll stand up and fight for her every day for the rest of my life because  _ that’s  _ what she deserves. That’s why I’m here now.”

Oscar turns to look at Alex, his face a cross between relief and anguish. Alex softens ever so slightly as she finally gets to her main point,

“I didn’t come here to read you the riot act, or beg you to change your ways. I’m here because I have two questions for you. You answered the first when I got here, which leads into my second: Can you support your daughter for loving someone else’s daughter, now that you’ve seen us living our lives together? Because this is who she is and I’m not going anywhere.”

There’s a pregnant pause as Alex stares at her future father-in-law, demanding him to face reality. 

“I’m not sure.” Oscar whispers.

Alex nods, her face unreadable. “Then don’t come back into her life until you’re sure. Because I won’t be this empathetic next time.”

With that, Alex sees herself out.

////

Alex returns to their apartment with the promised muffin and coffee just as Maggie’s waking up. Alex sets the provisions on the table before crawling back into bed with Maggie, gathering the woman in her arms.

Maggie rests her head against Alex’s chest, finger trailing along Alex’s collarbone as she asks, “You okay? You seem a little tense.”

“I went to go talk to your Dad.” Alex whispers.

Maggie stills her finger, sucking in a breath. “Oh?”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first, but I knew you’d just say  _ drop it _ , and I couldn’t. I needed to say some stuff to him.”

Maggie wraps her arm around Alex’s waist, cuddling in closer. “Did you say what you needed to say?”

“Yeah.”

“And he treated you okay?” 

Alex laughs. “I was more concerned with how he treats  _ you _ , but yeah, he was fine.”

Maggie sighs, pulling slightly out of Alex’s arms to get a better look at Alex. “Do I want to know what was said?”

Alex lets out a rueful smile, pressing a kiss to Maggie’s forehead. “I hope he just needs time. But no matter what, you’ll always have me. I know I’m not much, bu--” 

Maggie cuts Alex off with a kiss. “Alex, you’re all the family I need.” She kisses Alex again, whispering against her lips, “Thank you for defending my honor. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Forever.”


	23. resolutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're in the home stretch, friends. Hope you enjoy these last few!

Maggie walks out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower and toweling her hair dry when she notices Alex huddled over a notebook at the dining room table, pen in her mouth as she thinks.

“Whatcha doin’ there?” Maggie asks.

“Writing down my New Year's’ resolutions.” Alex answers distractedly, her gaze never leaving the paper before her.

“Dork.” Maggie laughs.

Alex drops her pen, horrified. “What, you’re _too cool_ for resolutions?”

“Oh, I have resolutions, but I didn’t write them down like a nerd.”

“What if you forget them?”

Maggie sidles up to Alex, hand rubbing between Alex’s shoulder blades. “Trust me, I’m not forgetting them.”

Alex pulls at Maggie’s arm, pulling Maggie into her lap. “What are they?”

“Nope, not telling you. Then they won’t come true.”

“That’s not how resolutions work.”

“I like to cover my bases.” Maggie kisses Alex before pointing at Alex’s paper. “What are _your_ resolutions, since you’re so serious about them?”

Alex smiles, pointing at each bullet point as she reads them out, “One: Master the Salmon Ladder. Two: Get married.”

Maggie laughs. “Baby, you can’t make something you already know is happening a resolution.”

“According to the dictionary, resolutions are _a firm decision to do or not to do something._ I’ve firmly decided I want to marry you so the resolution stays.”

Maggie rolls her eyes, a fond smile on her face. “Okay, fine. You win on a technicality. Proceed.”

“Three: Learn how to cook _one_ meal well.” Alex looks at Maggie before adding, “I may need your help with that one.”

“You’ll be a pro at cooking pasta by March.”

Alex playfully wacks Maggie’s arm. “I think I can perfect something a bit more adventurous than boiling water.”

Maggie raises her eyebrow as Alex drops her forehead against Maggie wearily. She presses a kiss to Maggie’s shoulder before turning her attention back to her list. “Four: read at least a book a month. And five: No matter how busy we are at the DEO, take at least a 15 minute lunch every day.”

“Those are solid resolutions, Danvers.”

“I feel good about them. _Now_ can you tell me yours?”

Maggie blushes, suddenly shy, picking at her nail. “I...I don’t wanna say them out loud.”

Alex places a hand on top of Maggie’s. “They’re just resolutions, Mags. I’m not judging you.”

Maggie stares at their hands as she whispers, “Don’t take you for granted, and be the kind of partner you deserve.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Alex sighs, tucking Maggie’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t know what to address first - the fact that you’ve already achieved your resolutions or the fact that my list is basic and boring and your list is the softest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Maggie blushes. “They were the only resolutions I could think of that meant anything to me.”

Alex brings her hand up to her heart dramatically and Maggie scoffs. “Okay stop, it’s not that sweet. Now you’re just being dramatic.”

Alex’s face softens, her arms looping around Maggie’s waist. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just really want to make it clear that...what was it you told me? ‘ _You can’t make something you already know is happening a resolution?_ ”

Alex shifts Maggie in her lap so she can look at her properly, “I appreciate that you want to continue being an incredible fiancee, but your resolutions are redundant because you’ve been doing them naturally since Day 1. You don't need resolutions to be more than enough for me, Maggie.”

Alex cups Maggie’s cheeks, pulling her down for a kiss. Maggie bites her lip after the kiss ends, a teasing glint in her eye. “Okay. Can I change my resolution?”

“Sure.”

“Convince you to give up your third resolution because I love our home and I don’t want it to go up in flames.”

Alex pushes Maggie off her lap as Maggie laughs. Alex picks up her pen, calling out to Maggie’s retreating form, “My sixth resolution is to teach you how to make better resolutions.”


	24. christmas eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is by far the most personal thing I've ever written, and also the hardest because...personal things are hard. I knew it was coming and I still waited to the very last minute to write it.
> 
> Anyway, wishing you all a very happy holiday for those who celebrate, a good Monday for those who don't, and for those who have complicated feelings about holidays in general, I hope you find some solace in this. 
> 
> (Also, the song Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars does a far better job at communicating the kind of emotionality I'm going for in today's chapter. Not a Christmas song, but I played it on repeat as I wrote this. It has nothing to do with this chapter whatsoever, but just a little glimpse into the process, in case you were wondering)

Alex knocks on Maggie’s door on Christmas Eve and has to hold back a laugh when Maggie answers wearing a headband with a mistletoe sprig dangling above.

“You look ridiculous.”

“And you need to kiss me. Rules are rules.” Maggie points up, staring at Alex expectantly.

Alex leans forward, leaving a quick peck on Maggie’s lips before pulling the headband off Maggie and leaving another quick non-misletoe induced peck on her girlfriend's lips.

"It should be clear by now that you don't need an excuse to get me to kiss you." 

Maggie laughs, ushering Alex inside.

Alex only takes two steps into the apartment before she exclaims, “Holy shit, Maggie, it’s _freezing_ in here.”

“Welcome to Blue Springs Christmas.” Maggie smirks as she throws Alex one of her sweatshirts hanging by the front door. “There’s a pair of pajama pants for you in the bedroom and fluffy socks in my drawer if you need. Go get comfortable.”

When Alex returns a few minutes later bundled up in her girlfriend’s clothes, she’s warm enough to finally take a real look around the living room. Maggie hands her a mug of mulled wine as Alex stares in wonder at the Christmas lights strung throughout the apartment, twinkling in the darkened room. She laughs at the makeshift pillow fort, with an opening that faces out to the roaring fireplace. The apartment smells like sugar cookies and Alex closes her eyes, letting out a shaky sigh as she tries to commit this moment to memory.

“You like it?” Maggie asks, a little shy.

“Maggie, this is incredible.”

“There’s more.” Maggie takes her girlfriend’s hand, pulling her towards the blanket fort. They crawl under and Maggie turns her laptop to present the movie she has queued up. “Ta-Da.”

Alex laughs. “You _would_ pick _How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”_

“Hey! It’s a classic!”

“I’m not complaining. I’m just _saying._ You have a soft spot for the misunderstood. _”_ Alex throws a blanket around them, sitting side by side with their backs against the edge of the sofa, sipping on their mulled wine in comfortable silence as Maggie presses play.

About halfway through, Alex puts her mug off to the side, letting her head loll against Maggie’s shoulder.

“It’s a 26 minute short, babe. You gonna fall asleep on me that quickly?”

Alex wraps her arm around Maggie’s waist, her bended knees coming to rest against Maggie’s. “I’m not sleeping. You’re just comfy.”

Maggie smiles, pressing her lips to Alex’s head. “Whatever you say.”

“Is this what Christmases were like when you were a kid?” Alex wonders as her hand slips under Maggie’s shirt, her palm coming to rest against Maggie’s skin.

Maggie laughs. “No, they sucked. The adults would get into drunken fights, my cousins would pummel me with snowballs, and by the end of the night, I’d be glad we had a whole year before we had to do it all again.”

“But...clearly you loved Christmas once? Unless all of this is just to impress me? In which case, it worked. I’m impressed.”

Maggie snorts. “No, this isn’t _all_ for you, though you were definitely a driving force behind the effort.” Maggie chews her lip before adding, “I did love Christmas as a kid. But the older I get, the harder it is to tell if the magic I once felt is still out there or if I’m just holding onto memories that weren’t even real to begin with. So, every year I try to _be merry_ anyway, just in case.”

Alex looks up at Maggie from her spot on Maggie’s shoulder. “In case what?

Maggie reaches over to her laptop, pressing pause and settling cross legged in front of Alex, taking Alex's hands into her own.

“You know how in like, _every_ Christmas movie, there’s that montage scene where the sad lonely character walks through a crowd of festive happy people while snow falls? And the sad character _knows_ that the Christmas spirit is out there, they see it all around, but it’s _just_ out of reach for _them_? I feel like I’ve spent my whole life as that broken character.”

Maggie stares down at their hands as she softly confesses, “I want that feeling everyone says they feel around the holidays to be real so badly, Alex, but...I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m over-romanticizing it all. Or, I’m just-” Maggie trails off, gesturing towards the laptop, “-a grinch.”

Alex reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear, nodding sadly. Then, she reaches into her sweatshirt pouch, pulling out her phone and jotting out a quick text before pocketing the phone again. She reaches for Maggie’s hand and demands, “Come with me.”

Alex pulls them out to Maggie’s balcony, taking both of Maggie’s hands in her own as the sounds of the city echo in the background. 

“What are we doing out here?” Maggie asks.

“Just wait.” They stand for 30 seconds more until suddenly, ripped up pieces of paper start tumbling down from above.

Maggie looks up and catches a glimpse of Kara on the roof, pouring the makeshift paper confetti down on them from a bucket. “Why is Kara showering us with shredded pieces of paper?”

“Not paper. Snow.” Alex looks up, winking as Kara waves before flying away. Alex turns back to Maggie, a smirk on her face as she pulls a piece of paper out of Maggie’s hair. “It’s 50 degrees. We had to improvise.”

Maggie lets out a warm laugh, awed and endeared.

“Okay, now close your eyes.”

Maggie closes her eyes as Alex pulls her in close. She sways with Maggie in her arms for a few moments as she hums a verse of _All I Want for Christmas is You._ Then, she whispers, “Would _Movie Montage Maggie_ feel _merry and bright_ right now?”

Maggie sighs, her answer instantaneous. “Yes.”

Alex pulls back, taking Maggie by the shoulders, intentionally playful. “Look at that! You’re not a grinch! You _can_ feel the holiday spirit.” And then, Alex adds seriously, "You're not a broken soul, Maggie. You've just been a lonely one - but not anymore."

Maggie blinks back, shocked as Alex’s words sink in and she sits with the unfamiliarity of _actually_ feeling what she’s longed for all these years. “Oh wow.”

Alex smiles softly, cupping Maggie’s cheek as she leans in for a soft kiss.

“Merry Christmas, Sawyer.”

“Merry Christmas, Danvers.”


	25. yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. The last day. Thank you, so much, for all the kudos and kind words over the past 25 day endeavor. 
> 
> Merry Christmas if that's your thing, and hope you enjoy this short but sweet finale.

Alex blinks awake just before dawn, smiling softly down at her _wife,_ who remains attached to her like a barnacle and dead to the world.

_I can't believe we're married now._

She leaves a sweet kiss on Maggie’s forehead before slowly extricating herself from Maggie’s clutch, slipping out of bed and slipping on Maggie’s dress shirt that lays in a crumpled heap on the floor.

With one last glance towards the bed, Alex opens the sliding door, walking out to the balcony and laying down on the patio sofa. She closes her eyes, listening to the sounds of the crashing ocean waves down below as she waits for the sun to rise.

Her eyes pop open 10 minutes later when she hears the sliding door open again, chuckling as she watches Maggie stumble towards her, wrapped in a blanket and still half asleep.

Maggie crawls on top of Alex, Maggie’s sleepy eyes slipping closed as she snuggles in. “You're a machine. How are you awake after what we did last night?”

Alex laughs. “I’m too happy to sleep.” Alex presses her lips to the top of Maggie’s head before adding, “I can’t believe you’re my wife now. It’s so...cool.”

Maggie burrows in closer, her lips pressed against Alex’s neck as she teases, “So fuckin’ soft.”

Alex sighs happily, wrapping her arms tighter around the woman resting atop her. “What are _you_ doin’ up?”

“Missed you.” Maggie grumbles sleepily.

“Who’s soft now?”

Maggie props herself up to look down at Alex, smirking. “I never claimed I wasn’t.” Maggie drops a kiss to Alex’s lips before curling back into Alex’s embrace as whispers, “Never thought I’d be one of those women who wanted to be referred to as _someone’s_ wife but I gotta tell you, it feels really good being _yours.”_

Alex beams, gently scratching Maggie’s scalp. “I get it. I _really_ like being Maggie Sawyer’s wife.”

“Excuse me. It’s Maggie Sawyer - Danvers.”

“Oh, of course. My mistake, Mrs. Sawyer - Danvers.”

Maggie says nothing, but Alex can feel Maggie’s smile against her neck. They lay in silence as the sun slowly rises, Alex’s fingers trailing through Maggie’s hair, lulling Maggie back to sleep.

“I love you, Maggie. Forever.” Alex whispers after she feels Maggie’s breaths even out.

Alex doesn’t need an answer to know that _her wife_ feels the same.


	26. melt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh....whoops. I'm back?
> 
> I don't really know where this one came from, but uh...here's this (long) bonus chapter for you all in case you're so inclined.
> 
> In terms of timeline, this exists in the space between chapters 18 and 19. So a few months after Jamie comes into Alex and Maggie's lives, just as she's starting to settle in. 
> 
> This chapter also makes reference to chapter 2, so....might want to do some re-reading. But you don't have to to get this one.

Maggie walks through the front door and immediately knows something’s wrong.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

She rounds the corner and snorts when she’s greeted to a grumbling Alex, cleaning up what looks like all of dinner from the kitchen floor.

“Love what you’ve done with your hair.” Maggie teases.

Alex scowls, spaghetti hanging in her hair and tomato sauce painting her face. “Know how Jamie hasn’t asserted anything about her likes and dislikes yet?”

“Yeah.”

“Well. Today I learned her dislikes include my cooking. And maybe me.”

“Oh, babe, you know that second one isn’t true.” Maggie sighs out in sympathy, arms wrapping around Alex as she falls into the embrace.

“Can you go check on her, please?” Alex whimpers against Maggie’s neck. “I sent her to her room because of the whole _clear rules and solid structure_ thing Caroline wants us to give her but I’m...well...I’ve never had to discipline her that harshly before and I feel awful.”

“Of course.” Maggie gently swipes away some of the tomato sauce splattered on Alex’s cheek, smirking as she tries to lighten the mood. “You look _delicious_ doin’ this whole mom thing, by the way.”

Alex blushes through her groan. “Why. Why are you like this?”

Maggie winks, pressing a kiss to Alex’s lips before heading upstairs to check on Jamie.

///

Maggie climbs the stairs two at a time, knocking softly when she reaches Jamie’s bedroom door.

“Come in.” Jamie breathes out, barely audible.

Maggie expects to find Jamie hiding under her bed, an anxious habit of hers they’ve been trying to break since day one.

What Maggie _actually_ finds makes her heart burst with pride: Jamie sitting atop her bed but under her comforter. Still hiding, but it’s progress all the same.

“Hey, you.” Maggie settles next to the lump that is Jamie, gently poking the best approximation of Jamie’s side as she asks, “Wanna tell me what’s got you so glum?”

Jamie pulls the comforter away from her face to look at Maggie, her voice pitiful as she admits, “Me and Alex got in a fight.”

“Oh yeah? What happened?” Maggie prods.

“She tricked me and put carrots in the spaghetti sauce! Can you believe that?!” Jamie exhales, flopping down on her pillows and continuing her rant, “She didn’t know I could see them but I could and it was so disgusting, Maggie! So I started crying because I really, really didn’t wanna eat carrots...”

Jamie trails off, hands covering her eyes, voice quivering as she whispers “...and I tried to push my bowl away but I on accident hit my fork and all the spaghetti went flying and then Alex sent me to my room because I yelled and made a mess.”

Maggie tries to hold back her laugh but it bubbles to the surface anyway.

Jamie pulls her hand from her face and sits up, alarmed. “It’s not funny! I was a bad kid!”

Maggie bites her lip, cupping Jamie’s cheek and kissing her forehead. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, peanut.”

“Yes you are.”

Maggie pulls Jamie into her lap, cuddling her close. “No, I’m laughing because you and Alex are like two peas in a pod.”

“Gross. I don’t like peas either.”

“Not actual peas. It means you and Alex are the same.”

“Alex was bad, too?”

Maggie chuckles. “Okay, no more analogies for you.” Maggie taps Jamie’s nose as she tries again. “I’m laughing because Alex thinks vegetables are gross, too. Just like you.”

“Really?”

“Yup. And when Alex and I first started dating, I tricked _her_ into eating food that was good for her. I wasn’t trying to be mean, I just wanted her to eat healthier because she means so much to me and I’d like her around for a long, long time. She was upset at first, but now she hides vegetables in other food so she doesn’t taste the things she hates but still gets the nutrients she needs.”

Maggie pauses, lips pressed to the top of Jamie’s head. “She wants you to grow up to be strong and healthy because she loves you a lot. So do I. That means sometimes you've gotta eat a carrot.”

Jamie’s lip wobbles as she breathes into Maggie’s chest, “I don’t think Alex loves me anymore.”

“Oh, sweetheart” Maggie exhales. She tucks a strand of hair behind Jamie’s ear. “Do you still love Alex even though you got mad at her?”

Jamie nods bashfully against Maggie, refusing to meet Maggie’s soft gaze. 

“Think that means Alex probably feels the same about you?”

“I hope so.” Jamie whispers. Maggie smiles when Jamie’s arms wrap around her waist, cuddling impossibly close. 

Maggie cards her fingers through Jamie’s hair, soothing. “We all make mistakes sometimes. What matters is how you fix ‘em. What do you think you can do to fix this fight?”

Jamie pulls back, trailing her finger along Maggie’s collarbone, fixating her nervous energy on the bone as she declares,“I need to go say sorry to Alex.”

Maggie kisses Jamie’s cheek. “I think that’d make her feel so much better.”

“What if it doesn’t?”

Maggie grabs Jamie’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m gonna tell you a little secret about Alex, ‘kay?”

Jamie nods, hanging on Maggie’s every word.

“Alex is a sucker for the people she loves most. I bet if you say you’re sorry and promise to use kinder words the next time you get angry, she’ll forgive you.”

“Okay.” Jamie climbs out of Maggie’s lap, settling next to Maggie. She chews her lip, deep in thought while Maggie watches curiously.

Eventually, Jamie turns her attention back to Maggie. “Can I practice my sorry with you first? I wanna make sure I do a really good job so Alex definitely forgives me.” Jamie asks shyly.

Maggie thumbs Jamie’s brow, nodding with a soft smile. She coughs, altering her voice in an attempt to imitate Alex. “Hello, Jamie. It’s me, Alex.”

Jamie giggles. She climbs into Maggie’s lap, wrapping her arms around Maggie’s neck. Jamie presses her forehead against Maggie’s and whispers, “I’m really sorry I’m a bad kid and for makin’ the spaghetti fly. I don’t like hurting your feelings because you’re really nice and I won’t do it again.”

Maggie cuddles Jamie for a moment, dropping her Alex facade as she whispers back, “You’re not a bad kid, you’re the _best_ kid.” Then, Maggie plops Jamie down onto the bed, becoming Alex again. “Thank you. I forgive you.”

Jamie looks up hopefully. “Was that good?”

“So good. Why don’t you get your pj’s on and then meet me downstairs and tell Alex exactly what you just told me.” 

“Okay.” Jamie climbs off the bed, heading to her closet.

Maggie walks towards Jamie’s door, letting out a loud _oomph_ when Jamie slams into her back by surprise, hugging her in a vice grip.

“Thank you for helping me, Maggie.”

Maggie turns, squatting down to collect Jamie into her arms. “Anytime, peanut.”

Jamie squeezes Maggie tightly once more before pulling back and darting towards her closet.

////

“Is she okay?” Alex asks when Maggie joins her in the living room.

Maggie smiles. “It was the not-so-hidden carrots that did her in.”

Alex sighs. “At least we know her palate is age appropriate.”

“She wants to apologize for being a brat.” Maggie sits next to Alex, kissing her cheek. “She wasn’t even hiding under the bed this time. We’re making progress. This is good.”

“It doesn’t feel good.” Alex groans.

Maggie loops her around Alex’s shoulders. “It’s gonna be fine, babe. We're all figuring it out as we go.”

They both look up when they hear Jamie shuffle into the living room. Jamie bursts into tears the moment her eyes lock with Alex’s.

“I love you, Alex.”

It’s not the apology either of them expected, but it’s the first time Jamie’s ever admitted she loved either one of them out loud without gentle prompting first and Alex melts.

“Oh, peanut, come here.” Alex coos, opening her arms out and Jamie runs into Alex’s lap.

Maggie presses a kiss to Alex’s temple before heading to the kitchen, letting her wife and Jamie have a moment together.

Alex rocks Jamie back and forth, humming softly as Jamie sobs inconsolably into the crook of Alex’s neck.

Eventually, Jamie calms down, and her sobs turn into sniffles. “I really hate carrots.”

“I can see that.” Alex laughs, pressing a kiss to Jamie’s temple.

Jamie sniffles again, then suddenly pulls back, horrified. “Oh no! I practiced sayin’ sorry and I messed it all up!”

“It’s okay, you didn’t mess up anything. I already forgive you.”

“No, I hafta say sorry, it’s important.”

Alex nods, a soft smile on her face when Jamie takes both of Alex’s cheeks into her hands.

“I’m sorry I was bad and hurt your feelings. You can keep hiding carrots if you hafta just make sure they’re really, really small pieces and don’t tell me.”

Alex removes Jamie’s hands from her cheeks, gathering the little girls’ hands into her own.

“I can do that. But I need you to do something for me, too.” Alex tilts Jamie’s chin up, making sure Jamie’s attention is on her. “I need you to tell me when you don’t like something. It’s okay to have opinions and they won’t hurt my feelings. It hurts my feelings more when you’re too afraid to tell me what you feel. I love you very much and if I do something you don’t like or makes you feel bad, I want you to tell me so I can make you feel better.”

Jamie leans into Alex for a long, quiet moment, Jamie’s tightened grip on Alex’s shirt the only indication Alex has that Jamie heard her at all. 

Alex trails her hand along Jamie’s back when she feels Jamie start to tremble in her arms, becoming worried. “You okay, baby?”

Jamie takes a deep breath, and then mumbles into Alex’s chest, “I hafta tell you something, Alex.”

Alex nods, waiting.

Jamie hides her face in her hands. “In my old house I said I didn’t like carrots and Mr. Terry said I was rude so I wasn’t allowed to eat anything else only carrots until I learned how to be polite. I was so hungry for a really long time and then Mrs. Johnson sent me to live somewhere else because I turned orange.” Jamie folds herself closer into Alex’s embrace, crying again as she admits, “Carrots are so scary. I don’t wanna be orange again.”

“Oh god.” Alex chokes back her own sob, “I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.” Alex cradles Jamie’s head to her chest, tears flooding her vision. “I promise Maggie and I will _never_ let you turn orange. Never, ever, ever, ever. And we’ll never let anyone hurt you again, either.”

Jamie sighs, whimpering as she buries her face against Alex’s chest.

Alex rests her cheek atop Jamie’s head, jumping slightly when she hears Maggie’s muffled sniffle. She meets her wife’s teary eyes, both women equal parts heartbroken and livid on behalf of the shaking little girl in Alex’s lap.

Maggie re-joins them on the couch, dropping the three ice cream bowls she holds on the coffee table to free up her hand so she can thumb away the tears from Jamie’s cheeks. “Know what makes me feel better when I’m sad?”

Jamie shakes her head in the negative.

“Ice cream!” Maggie hands over a bowl, which Jamie rebuffs.

“No thank you. I didn’t eat my dinner so I can’t have any.”

Alex and Maggie share a glance, coming to an unspoken agreement.

Alex presses a kiss to Jamie’s temple. “Just this once we’ll make an exception.”

Jamie looks weary but Maggie shoves the bowl into Jamie’s hand anyway, a wry grin on her face. “Don’t worry, I didn’t mess with your food. I only trick Alex. Promise.”

Alex’s eyebrows pop up, and she jabs her spoon into the ice cream bowl Maggie hands her. “Did you give me your gross vegan ice cream?”

“Al, come on. I know ice cream is off limits.”

Alex eyes Maggie, still suspicious as she puts the spoon hesitantly to her lips.

When Maggie’s sure Alex isn’t looking, she winks at Jamie, who stifles a giggle.

Three seconds later, Alex screeches and sputters, “MARGARITA SAWYER - DANVERS, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT RUINING ICE CREAM?”

Maggie smirks at Jamie before schooling her features to faux seriousness. Maggie takes Alex’s ice cream bowl, swapping it with the one in her hand. “Ooops. Sorry baby, my bad. I forgot which was which.” Maggie grins, leaning forward to leave a sweet kiss on Alex’s lips.

“No you didn’t.” Alex grumbles even as she lingers for another kiss.

Maggie playfully elbows Jamie. “Told ya. She’s a real softie.”

Alex swats at Maggie before turning her attention back to the child in her lap. “Jamie. Is this the good stuff?” Alex sticks out her spoon, offering it to Jamie for a taste test.

Jamie takes the bite. “Yup.”

Alex pokes Jamie’s rib playfully. “You’re not helping Maggie trick me?”

“Nope. Maggie says you and me are peas.” Jamie answers proudly.

Alex looks over at Maggie. _Peas?_ She mouths. Maggie laughs, and mouths _later_ back.

Alex squints at both Maggie and Jamie before very carefully dips her spoon back into her ice cream bowl. She brings her spoon back her mouth, taking the full bite when she realizes that it is, in fact, real ice cream. She swallows, and then points the spoon at Maggie in warning. “You’re lucky I love you, Maggie, I swear.”

It’s Maggie’s turn to melt when Jamie quietly confesses, “I also love you, Maggie.”

Maggie smiles, placing her bowl back on the coffee table, followed by Jamie’s, and then pulling Jamie into her own lap.

“I love you, too, peanut.” Maggie drops a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head before reaching over to cup Alex’s cheek. “And you.”

Alex leans in, one hand coming to rest on Jamie’s back as she mumbles a reverent _forever_ against Maggie’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! As always, comments / criticisms always welcome and highly encouraged.


	27. object constancy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn’t get this out of my head, so here’s another surprise chapter featuring Jamie. In terms of timeline, this takes place somewhere between chapters 26 and 19.
> 
> This chapter makes reference to the psychodynamic principle of object constancy. In its broadest definition, object constancy refers to a person’s ability to understand that you can still retain an emotional relationship with another across distance and conflict.
> 
> It’s obviously a bit more thorough that that, but...generally that’s all you need to know to get the gist of this chapter - Jamie struggles with the fear of being “out of sight, out of mind.”
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

“You guys can come in now!” Jamie announces one Thursday afternoon as she skips into the waiting room to retrieve Alex and Maggie.

Maggie scoops Jamie up, peppering her face with kisses as she walks with a laughing Jamie in her arms and Alex by her side back into Jamie’s therapist’s office.

Maggie plops Jamie in the center of the couch as she and Alex settle in to flank the little girl’s sides.

“Look! I drawed a picture today!” Jamie exclaims as she picks up a piece of construction paper from the table in front of her.

Maggie looks at the drawing with a mock art historian glare. “Clean lines. Great color choices. Interesting use of space.” Maggie ruffles Jamie’s hair as she asserts, “Awesome job, peanut.”

Maggie raises her hand out to high five Jamie, which Jamie reciprocates enthusiastically. “Thanks!”

Alex pulls Jamie to her side proudly, allowing Jamie to cuddle in and explain her drawing.

“Ms. Caroline told me to draw somethin’ happy so that’s me -” Jamie points to the smallest stick figure on the paper, “-and that’s you -” Jamie asserts while looking up at Alex. Then she shifts to look at Maggie while pointing at the remaining stick figure in the picture “-and that’s you, Maggie -”. Jamie stares down at her picture with a frown as she finishes, “-and this is supposta be Bailey but it’s hard to draw dogs so she looks bad.”

“Well, I think she looks great.” Alex soothes.

“Really?”

Alex taps Jamie’s nose gently. “Really. I can tell you worked hard on this. It’s beautiful.”

“Alex is right, it _is_ beautiful.” Caroline agrees. “I’d love to make it Picture of the Week on the bulletin board out front if you’re okay with that?”

“It’s that good?” Jamie wonders, awed by the praise.

“I certainly think so. Leslie can help you hang it up and then you can pick out your candy while I talk to Alex and Maggie.”

“Okay!” Jamie squeals, climbing over Maggie to clamor off the couch and out of the room.

Once the coast is clear, Caroline turns her attention back to Maggie and Alex. “Jamie’s been living with you for eight months now, and I think it’s time she spends a night apart from you.”

Maggie chews her lip as Alex scoots closer to Maggie and grabs her hand.

“Are we…” Alex starts, clearing her throat when her voice cracks. “Are we doing something wrong?”

Caroline smiles, leaning forward. “Not at all. Jamie’s so much further along than I’d expect for a girl her age with the trauma she’s endured, and that’s in large part because of the love and stability you’re providing at home.”

Alex squeezes Maggie’s hand as Maggie exhales.

“She deserves a happy life.” Maggie breathes out.

“I know, and it shows how much you care about giving that to her. Keep doing everything you’re doing. I’m only suggesting we add this into the fold because it’s an important milestone for her emotional growth. She’s terrified of being left behind, and I’d like to start introducing the occasional overnight separation to reinforce the idea that her loved ones can also love her from afar and will return for her.”

“You really think she’s ready for that?” Alex worries. “She still cries every morning when we drop her off at school.”

“As long as you leave her in Kara’s care then yes, I do think she’s ready.”

Alex still looks weary, but yields with a follow up question. “I mean, don’t take this the wrong way because I’m fully aware my sister is amazing, but...why Kara?”

Caroline looks at Alex, a soft smile on her face as she explains, “Jamie feels safe with her because Kara’s an extension of you.”

Maggie lifts their joined hands to press a kiss to the back of Alex’s as Caroline continues, “If Kara’s open to it, sleepovers are a good place to start working through Jamie’s issues with object constancy.”

Maggie laughs. “ _If_ Kara’s open to it? She’ll finally have an excuse to marathon Disney movies. She’s gonna be goddamned thrilled.”

////

Maggie’s right and Kara _is_ thrilled.

More surprisingly, though, is how well Jamie embraces her first sleepover. She exhibits no anxiety, just sheer excitement, when Maggie and Alex drop her off at Kara’s several nights later.

“Have fun, peanut.” Alex hugs Jamie for a solid minute before Maggie places a gentle hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“She can’t have fun if you don’t let go of her.”

Alex presses a kiss to Jamie’s temple before pulling back and standing up. She smiles while she watches Jamie wrap her arms around Maggie’s waist in a quick hug before the six-year-old pulls back to grab Kara’s hand, trying to pull her inside.

“Whoa, hold on a sec.” Alex grabs Kara’s other arm, demanding Kara’s attention. “Everything you and I did growing up? Do the opposite with her.”

Kara opens her mouth in retort but Alex halts her, pointing her finger in warning.

“I mean it.”

////

Maggie answers a FaceTime call from Kara around eight-thirty that night, right on time for Jamie’s bedtime. Maggie’s smile turns to a frown when Jamie’s tear stained face stares back at her on the screen. “Oh, sweetheart, why are you crying?”

Jamie sniffles, tears streaming down her face. “I ‘membered I didn’t say goodnight to you an’ Alex.”

Maggie nods in sympathy. “You know who else is bummed right now?”

“Who?”

“Alex.” Maggie shifts the phone so Jamie can see Alex, Bailey on her lap.

“It’s true. I miss you.” Alex asserts, covering Bailey’s ears as she whispers, “Don’t tell Bailey, but you’re a better cuddler. She drools too much.” 

Jamie giggles, blushing.

Relieved to see Jamie perking back up and eager for it to continue, Maggie tries to distract Jamie further by asking, “Are you havin’ fun?”

“Yup! Kara showed me her favorite movie.”

“ _Casablanca_?” Alex squints, confused.

“ _Finding Nemo_.” Kara clarifies pointedly.

“Ohhh, right. Of course.” Alex nods.

“Did you like it?” Maggie asks Jamie with a raised eyebrow.

“Kinda. It was a little sad because Nemo got lost but Marlin found him at the end so that was good.”

“Sounds like Kara picked a good movie.” Alex replies, grateful for Kara’s forethought in the movie messaging.

“Mmhmm. We also ate lotsa pizza -”

“-But not too much pizza!” Kara interjects.

Alex fixes Kara a stern glare as Jamie asks, “What did you do without me today?”

“Oh, not much. We just ate too.” Maggie smirks as Alex elbows her in the side.

“Oh my god, don’t do this.” Kara yelps as Jamie looks up at her curiously.

“Do what?”

Maggie laughs. “Nothing. I’m just teasing Kara because she likes to _eat_ , too. Just ask Lena.”

“I’m begging you. Stop.”

Maggie raises her hands in surrender as Alex snorts.

Jamie lets out a little yawn, confused and bored, slumping slightly into Kara’s side. Kara presses a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head. “I think it’s time for bed.”

Tears pool in Jamie’s eyes again, voice trembling. “I don’t wanna yet.”

Maggie feels Alex wince beside her. She throws her arm over Alex’s shoulders in sympathy as she asks Jamie, “Do you have Stanley with you?”

Jamie raises her hand, her stuffed puppy flopping around. “Yup.”

“Okay, cool. Think you can do my part for Stanley tonight? Kara will do Alex’s part for you.”

Jamie hands over the phone to Kara. “Make sure Alex and Maggie see, please?”

“You got it.”

Jamie lays down, Stanley secure in her arms. She kisses the top of Stanley’s head in ritual. “Sweet dreams, Stanley.”

Jamie opens her mouth to tell Kara what to do next, but Kara is already leaning down to kiss Jamie’s forehead, beating her to the punch, “And sweeter dreams to you, Jamie.”

“Heyyyy, how’d you know what to say already?!” Jamie gasps.

Maggie laughs. “We taught her, silly. We knew we could trust Kara to tuck you in and keep you safe for us tonight.”

Jamie blushes, cuddling Stanley tightly. “Thank you” Jamie whispers, though who she’s thanking is anyone’s guess.

“Goodnight, kiddo, we’ll see you in the morning.” Alex promises as Maggie swears, “We love you, peanut.”

“You won’t forget to come get me?” Jamie’s lip wobbles as she asks, her voice muffled by Stanley’s head.

Alex leans forward on instinct, longing to pick Jamie up to allay her concerns. “No way I’d leave behind my favorite girl.”

Maggie lets out a gasp as Kara shouts, “Hey! I thought I was your favorite!”

“Oh relax.” Alex groans, faux exasperated. “Kara’s my favorite sister, Maggie’s my favorite wife, Jamie’s my favorite kid, and I love you all.”

Kara turns the phone to herself. “I was your first favorite though, right?”

“Goodnight, Kara.”

////

Alex’s phone rings at 2 am and her heart drops when she sees it’s Kara. She scrambles to pick up the phone, pressing it to her ear as she answers with a frantic, “Is she okay?”

Alex hears Jamie’s sobs through the connection and her heart breaks further.

“I don’t know what to do!” Kara yelps. “She woke up screaming and I’ve tried everything but I can’t get her to calm down. Should I put her on the phone so she can talk to you?”

Alex whacks Maggie, who blinks awake and bolts up when she sees Alex’s panicked face. Alex puts the call on speaker so Maggie can hear as she answers, “No, we’re heading over. She needs to know we’ll come if she needs us.”

“I’m so sorry, Alex, maybe _Finding Nemo_ was too much. I really thought -”

“Kar, this is my fault. I knew she wasn’t ready for this.” Alex sighs forlornly.

Maggie presses a kiss to Alex’s shoulder and then directs Kara, “Pick her up and pace with her until we get there. I know she’s a bit too big for that now but she finds it soothing.”

Kara snorts. “I’m Supergirl. Remember? That’s not gonna be a problem.”

“Oh, right.”

///

They make it to Kara’s in five minutes flat and Kara opens her door on the second knock with a sobbing Jamie in her arms.

“Hey Jay Jay, look who’s here. It’s Alex and -”

Jamie sees them and sobs harder. “My Maggie!!”

Maggie gathers Jamie into her arms, her own tears slipping down her cheeks as Jamie clings to her.

“You didn’t come back for me.” Jamie wails into Maggie’s neck.

“Oh honey, it was just a bad dream. We’re right here.” Maggie coos, voice shaking as she tries to bite back her own distress.

Alex wraps Maggie up in a hug, Jamie sandwiched between them, as she vows, “We’ll always come back for you, baby. We love you so much.”

Jamie’s body un-tenses in relief, going entirely limp in Maggie’s arms, her breaths coming out in shuddering gasps as she tries to collect herself.

Alex presses a kiss to Jamie’s temple before pulling out of the embrace, walking over to Kara to wrap her forlorn sister in a hug.

“Is she gonna be okay?” Kara stresses as she watches Maggie head to the couch. Maggie lays down, allowing Jamie to rest on her chest as she continues to console the trembling girl.

Alex smiles, keeping her arm wrapped around Kara’s shoulders. “Yeah. As long as she has Maggie, she’s good.”

“Not just Maggie.” Alex looks ready to _pfft_ her sister when Kara fixes her a stern glare. “She woke up screaming out for _you,_ Alex _._ ”

“Kara?” Jamie’s shaky voice calls out from across the room, interrupting their moment.

Kara and Alex head over to the couch, squatting down in front of Jamie. Jamie hides her face in her hand as she whispers, “I’m sorry I cried. I tried to be brave like you.”

Kara pulls Jamie’s hand away from her face and holds it as Alex bites back a sob watching her sister be so tender with the little girl she’s grown to think of as _hers_.

“You know, when I first came to live with Eliza and Jeremiah, I cried a lot because everything was new and weird. It’s really scary being far away from home, isn’t it?”

Jamie nods, and Kara leans in close, tucking a strand of hair behind Jamie’s ear as she whispers, “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jamie. Even the bravest people feel scared sometimes. I’ll always be so proud of you, no matter what. Okay?”

Jamie sniffles out an “okay” before letting out a massive yawn.

Maggie grabs the blanket resting on the back of the couch, covering Jamie and herself. “It’s late, sleepyhead. Let’s try to go back to bed, yeah?”

“Are you stayin’ with me?” Jamie whimpers.

“Do you want me to?” Maggie asks softly.

“Yes, please.” Jamie whispers.

Maggie presses a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head. “Then yes.”

“Alex, too?”

Alex leans forward, pressing a kiss to Jamie’s forehead. “Me too. I’m gonna sleep down here on the floor with Kara though since Maggie’s hoggin’ the whole couch.”

“Okay. You can borrow Stanley tonight so you don’t miss Maggie if you wanna.”

“That’s really thoughtful, baby, thank you.”

Jamie smiles, nuzzling in against Maggie. “Night, Alex.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.”

Jamie sighs “love you, too” as Maggie tugs at Alex’s arm, pulling her in for a kiss.

“Don’t get too handsy with Stanley tonight, ya hear?” Maggie teases as Alex rolls her eyes.

“I can’t believe I married a dork.”

///

The next morning, Maggie blinks awake to the feeling of Jamie’s soft puffs of air against her neck. She soaks in the quiet moment before she gently nudges Jamie awake. “I’ve gotta make breakfast. Wanna go lay with Alex for a little longer?”

Jamie nods against Maggie, rubbing her eyes. She hugs Maggie once before climbing off, shuffling over to Alex and gently curling up against her on the floor.

Alex stays asleep but gathers Jamie into her arms on instinct, cuddling her close and letting out a content sigh. Maggie squats, kissing Jamie’s temple and brushing Alex’s hair away from her face before standing back up to head towards the kitchen.

Maggie’s flipping over the first batch of pancakes on the skillet when Kara joins her in the kitchen. “I’m surprised you had enough ingredients for breakfast.”

“Hey! I take my responsibilities as an aunt very seriously. I was ready.”

Maggie smiles, dropping the spatula and turning to reach across the island to grab Kara’s hand with both of her own. “You’re amazing with her, Kara. Thank you.”

Before Kara can respond, Alex comes galloping into the kitchen with a smiling Jamie riding piggy-back.

“I wanna sit next to Kara!” Jamie begs.

Alex plops Jamie on the stool next to Kara as requested before heading to the stove to wrap her arms around Maggie from behind, chin resting on Maggie’s shoulder.

“Looks good, babe.” Alex whispers into Maggie’s ear, leaving a kiss just under Maggie’s ear.

Maggie raises her hand to cup Alex’s cheek, humming softly in gratitude.

Kara groans. “Stop bein’ cute and let your wife cook, Alex. I’m hungry.”

Alex reaches into the blueberry carton next to the stove, turning to chuck a few blueberries at Kara. Kara grabs Jamie, holding her up to block the attack as Jamie laughs hysterically.

“Cease fire. Jamie did nothing wrong. She doesn’t deserve this.” Kara jokes as Alex stops throwing blueberries.

“Ugh. Cheap move usin’ the kid as a shield.”

“Whatever works.” Kara retorts as she places Jamie back in her seat.

Alex sighs, kissing Maggie once more before plating the first two pancakes ready. She heads to the island, shoving the plate forward.

Kara reaches out to grab the food but Alex diverts the course and places the plate in front of Jamie. “Nu-uh. Patient people get rewarded.”

Alex nearly cries as she watches Jamie hand a fork to Kara and move the plate back into the space between them. “We can share until yours are ready.”

Kara pauses, a soft smile on her face. “Thanks, Jay Jay.”

Jamie nods happily. She turns to Alex, bouncing in her chair as she asks, “Can we have a sleepover at our house next time so Bailey can have fun, too? She’s missin’ all the blueberries.” Jamie points to the blueberries littering the floor.

Maggie pauses as she plates Kara’s stack of pancakes, a small smile on her face hearing _our_ come out of Jamie’s mouth so effortlessly.

Alex catches Maggie’s eye, winking before turning her attention to Jamie. “As long as _you_ sleep next to Kara. I forgot how much she kicks in her sleep.”

Kara scoffs. “Like your snoring is any better?”

Alex gasps. “I do not snore. Right, Maggie?”

Maggie sidles up next to Alex, a hand on the small of her back as she drops Alex’s plate in front of the woman. She picks up a fork and pierces a piece of pancake from Alex’s plate, popping the food into her mouth as she proclaims around the bite, “You snore. It’s adorable.”

Alx grimaces. “I changed my mind. Jamie’s my only favorite.”

Kara throws a pancake at Alex’s face, Maggie pinches Alex’s side in indignation with a cry of “What! I said you were adorable!”, Jamie claps with joy, and Alex?

Alex beams, entirely grateful to share this morning with the people she loves most.


	28. home visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooops. Um...Happy Mother's Day? Here's another chapter because I can't help myself. In terms of timeline, this exists somewhere between chapters 18 and 26, when Maggie and Alex move from emergency fosters to just fosters.

“Mrs. Johnson!” Jamie screeches, bolting into the foyer and launching herself into the aforementioned woman’s arms as Maggie and Alex welcome her into the house. 

“Oof. Hey, Kiddo.” Alice responds, squeezing Jamie in a tight hug before placing her back on the floor. “You’re getting so big.”

“I know! Alex says I’m in a grow spurt. That means my bones are gettin’ bigger. Right, Alex?” Jamie looks up at Alex, head cocked to the side, waiting for confirmation. 

“Growth spurt” Alex corrects kindly as Jamie blushes. Alex smiles down, scratching gently at Jamie’s scalp and letting the little girl rest against her side. “Either way, Alice is right. You're growing like a weed.”

Alice squats down to Jamie’s level, grabbing both of her hands. “Sounds like you’re learnin’ a lot, too.” 

Jamie looks down at their joined hands, embarrassed. “I’m not smart like Alex so she has to teach me a lot of things I don’t know.”

Alex bumps Jamie with her hip, firmly but gently demanding, “Try again, please.”

Jamie huffs, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist as she looks at Alice from against Alex’s hip. “I’ll be smart too when I grow up.” Then Jamie looks up at Alex. “Is that better?”

Alex laughs. “I was looking for something more along the lines of _ I’m very smart for my age and Alex just knows more because she’s old,  _ but-” Alex turns her attention to the crouching woman, winking as she asks. “What do you think, Alice? Is Jamie’s answer acceptable?”

Alice stands, playing along. “I don’t know...Alex has a point. You’re already very smart.” Jamie lets out a squeak and Alice concedes with a chuckle, “But you do, too. When you’ve done all the schooling Alex has, you’ll know all the things she knows.”

“So who wins?” Jamie asks impatiently. 

Alice grins. “You do. You’re gonna be even smarter than you are now when you’re Alex’s age.”

Jamie smiles proudly, giving Maggie a high five before she turns her attention back to Alice. “Come on, I got so much to show you!” Jamie squeals, reaching out for Alice’s arm. 

Maggie places a soft hand on Jamie’s shoulder, urging her back. “Whoa, hold on Speed Racer. Remember what you wanted to show Mrs. Johnson, first?” Maggie gently prods. 

Jamie frowns, head tilting to the side as Maggie offers a subtle nod to the German Shepherd at her feet. 

Jamie’s eyes light up. “Oh, right, duh! Mrs. Johnson, this is my bestest friend, Bailey!” Then Jamie turns her attention to the dog. “Bailey, shake.”

Bailey lifts her paw out and Alice takes the cue, shaking the dog’s outstretched paw.

“I taught her that!” Jamie proclaims.

“You did a great job, Jamie. You too, Bailey.” Alice praises.

Jamie beams, looking up at Maggie hopefully. “Nowwww can I show Mrs. Johnson my room?”

Maggie smiles. “You may. Meet us in the living room when you’re done.” 

“Yes!!!” Jamie shrieks, grabbing Alice’s hand and pulling her upstairs. 

///

When they reach the upstairs landing, Jamie drops Alice’s hand, peeling off the the right and then standing with her back against the closed door at the end of the hallway. 

“Okay, wait. You gotta close your eyes because is the best room I ever had in my whole life. You’re gonna be so surprised.” 

Alice closes her eyes and Jamie opens the door before walking around to push Alice from behind into the room.

“Okay. You can open your eyes.”

Alice does as requested and lets out a gasp as she takes in the room. It’s a normal room by normal child standards, but Alice knows that for Jamie, this is a massive deal. She swallows the lump in her throat as her eyes drift to the large bed covered in pillows and stuffed animals, to the mini desk in the corner littered with art supplies, to the closet filled to the brim with clothes and the dog bed nestled next to a bookcase stacked with books. 

“Oh, Jay, this is awesome.”

Jamie nods, flopping onto her bed, sighing happily. “I like it here.” 

Alice smiles, sitting next to Jamie and brushing the hair off her face. “You’ve never said that about a placement before.”

“That’s ‘cuz all the other places made me feel bad.”

Alice smiles. “Maggie and Alex are nice people then, huh?”

“So nice! You know how other kids have moms and dads who read them stories?” 

“Mhmm.”

“Alex and Maggie do that for me! I pick out one book before bed and then they read it to me and Maggie does silly voices and Alex tells me what the words I don’t know mean and then they tuck me and Stanley in!”

At the mention of Jamie’s favorite stuffed animal, Alice looks around, noting his absence from the bed. “Where _ is _ Stanley?” 

Jamie bolts up. “He’s in my other bed, come on.” 

Alice follows curiously as Jamie pads across the hall and opens another door. 

“This is Maggie and Alex’s room.” Jamie answers Alice’s unspoken question as she climbs onto the massive king bed. 

Alice looks around and can tell that the women downstairs were not anticipating a visit to  _ this  _ bedroom. The bed is unmade, and there’s a basket of folded laundry in the corner with a mix of child and adult clothing, yet to be put away. Though messy, Alice is glad to see that beyond the typical carefully curated house visit preparation, this home is very obviously filled with love. 

Alice walks over to the bedside table, picking up a framed picture prominently displayed of Alex with her eyes closed and a serene smile on her face while Maggie presses a kiss to her cheek and Jamie smiles happily down at the cake in front of them from her perch on Alex’s lap.

“That was Alex’s birthday. She let me help blow out the candles.” Jamie offers in explanation when she sees Alice looking at the photograph.

Alice places the picture back on the bedside table just as Jamie lets out a yelped “Ta-da” when she pulls Stanley out from under a pillow. 

Jamie hugs Stanley before she turns her attention back to Alice. “The rule is if I wake up and I’m scared, me and Stanley gotta come to this room so I don’t cry alone.” Jamie looks at the door before lowering her voice, “I like bein’ close to Maggie and Alex though so sometimes I just pretend I’m scared so I can sleep with them.”

“Why don't you just tell them the truth?”

Jamie falls back against the pillow, sighing. “I gotta follow the rules so they still like me.”

“Jamie” Alice breathes out, settling next to Jamie. “You don’t need a rule to be near them. They’re your family.” 

Jamie frowns. “No they’re not.”

“You’re right.” Alice yields, “They’re not your family yet.” Alice clocks how Jamie pouts, her little hand picking at Stanley’s ear. Alice reaches out, placing a hand atop Jamie’s as she continues, “You can still love them though.”

“But…” Jamie trails off. 

“But what?” Alice prods gently. 

Jamie buries her face in the pillow as she mumbles, “I can't love them ‘cause then I'll be really sad when they send me back.”

Alice moves the pillow so she can look Jamie in the eye. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon.”

Jamie bites her lip. “Why not?”

Alice smiles. “They’re still just as protective of you as they were the day Maggie found you. They know how special you are.”

Jamie blushes and Alice tucks Jamie’s hair behind her ear. “So how ‘bout I go ask the Sawyer - Danvers’ some questions so we can make ‘em your foster parents?” 

///

Jamie and Alice return to the living room, and Jamie makes a beeline to the women seated on the couch, babbling happily. “I showed Mrs. Johnson everything I think! Now it’s your turn for questions!”

Maggie swallows hard, her nerves visible as she wrings her hands together. Alex rubs Maggie’s back while she addresses Jamie, “Thanks, kiddo. Can you go finish your homework while we talk to Alice, please?” 

“Okay!” Jamie agrees, walking over to the armchair Alice has settled in across from the couch to whisper in Alice’s ear, “Please give them easy questions, I really wanna stay here.”

Alice chuckles, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “I know you do.” 

Jamie beams, throwing a thumbs up to Alex and Maggie before skipping out of the room.

Alice turns her attention to the women on the couch, holding back a laugh when she sees how anxious both look. She gives them a warm smile as she starts, “I’ve talked to Jamie about how she feels, but I’d love to hear how you feel she’s settling in.”

Maggie scratches at her neck. “Ah. Well, we're having so much fun with her...which, well, I guess you figured that out already since we asked to extend emergency fostering into regular fostering...

Alice nods kindly. “I surmised, yeah.”

Alex grabs Maggie hand, squeezing it before adding, “Selfishly, we want more time with Jamie, but it’s not just about that. We’ve watched her slowly blossom into a happy little girl over the past month, and...I don’t know. She deserves more time to be little and carefree. For as long as our home can give her that, we want that for her.”

“That much is very clear.” Alice confirms as Maggie lets out a little sigh of relief. “Do you have any concerns regarding your continued competency providing Jamie the care she needs?”

Maggie hears a creak in the floorboard and looks up, seeing Jamie peeking around the corner. Maggie snorts, patting the space between herself and Alex. “Come here, peanut. We’re talkin’ about you. It’s only fair you hear what we say.”

Jamie blushes, walking in and settling next to them sheepishly. Alex presses her forehead to Jamie’s temple, whispering softly to ease the little girl’s’ nerves as Jamie lets out a giggle. 

Maggie watches them for a moment, a small smile on her face before she turns her attention back to Alice. “Not on our end but we've noticed she gets these awful nightmares nearly every night and sometimes it takes hours for her to calm down. We’ve been doing some research, and of course she sees Caroline every week, but…” Maggie trails off, looking at Alex. 

Alex takes over, shifting Jamie onto the coffee table facing Maggie and herself, intentionally placing distance so she can ask, “Are we causing your nightmares? Do you need us to do something differently?”

Jamie frowns, turning to look at Alice. “I messed up.”

Maggie jolts, shaking her head. “No, peanut, you didn’t do anything wrong! We just want to make sure we’re-“ Maggie gestures between herself and Alex, “-not doing anything wrong because we lo--” Maggie closes her mouth, looking sheepishly at Alice before she amends with, “We want you to feel safe here and if you don’t then we need to tell Mrs Johnson so we can do what’s best for you.” Maggie finishes. 

Alice cuts in when she notices all three women grow visibly upset over the insinuation that  _ what’s best _ might mean moving Jamie  _ elsewhere _ . “No one did anything wrong. Jamie, do you want to explain what’s goin’ on?”

Jamie’s eyes bulge and she shakes her head. “No, they’re gonna get mad!!”

“Hey, no, sweetheart, come here.” Alex soothes, opening her arms so Jamie can rush into her lap. Alex wraps her arms tighter around Jamie, cuddling her close, instinctively protective.

Maggie tucks a strand of hair behind Jamie’s ear, and Alice notes how Jamie visibly melts in Alex’s arms under Maggie’s gentle touch. “Whatever it is, it won’t change how we feel about you.”

When it’s clear Jamie’s too frightened to speak up, Alice offers an out. “How ‘bout I tell them?”

Jamie shrinks into Alex’s embrace, but lets out a squeaked, “Okay.” 

Maggie and Alex both look at Alice, hanging on her every word as Alice explains, “Jamie feels a lot more comfortable when she has the things she loves around her. Like Stanley.”

Jamie perks up a little. “Stanley makes me feel so much better!”

“I know he does. What else makes you feel a lot better?” Alice tries to coax Jamie. 

Jamie hides her face with her hand as she mumbles inaudibly into Alex’s chest. 

“What was that, baby?” Alex asks, but Jamie’s last ounce of courage has left her body and she keeps her face hidden. 

Alice smiles softly, pointedly looking at the two older women while gently translating, “Jamie also feels a lot better near you both, and a lot safer  _ following rules.” _

Maggie and Alex look at each other, confused, before realization dawns on Alex. “Oh, Jamie.” Alex exhales, pulling Jamie’s hand away from her face and pressing a kiss to her forehead while she rocks Jamie back and forth. “We didn’t mean you could  _ only _ come to us when you had nightmares.”

Maggie finally catches on, swallowing a lump in her throat. “Okay, new rule.” 

“What is it?” Jamie asks, lip trembling.

Maggie reaches out and Jamie climbs into her lap as Maggie tilts Jamie’s chin up gently. “Please come cuddle with us whenever you want. No reason necessary.” 

“You’re not gonna give me back because I lied?” Jamie whispers. 

Maggie thumbs away the tear that slips down Jamie’s cheek. “No way. This isn’t like your other houses. Alex and I are gonna work really hard to prove you can trust us so that being honest isn’t scary for you anymore.”

Jamie nods against Maggie, playing with Maggie’s sleeve. “I...um...” Jamie softly hedges, and Maggie knows she’s trying to say she trusts them but can’t find the words just yet. Instead, Jamie finishes with, “I won’t lie again.”

Maggie chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of Jamie’s head and turning to Alice. “Hope you got that on record. I’m gonna want to play that back for her when she’s 15.”

The comment slips out so effortlessly and both Alex and Maggie seem oblivious to the promise behind it, but Alice notices it and surreptitiously wipes a tear from her eye. 

“That’s all I need. I’ll file my report with my supervisor but I feel confident we’ll be able to make Jamie’s placement here long term as we continue to work towards a permanent resolution for her.”

“That’s it?” Maggie asks, startled, as Alex gently whacks her arm.

“Sorry. Obviously we’re thrilled but...you’re sure you don’t have any other questions?”

Alice smiles. “Nope. Jamie’s happy, and more importantly, truly cared for.”

Jamie sits up in Maggie’s lap, a huge smile on her face. “I can stay?”

“You can stay.” Alice beams. 

Jamie squeals and flings herself on the floor to hug Bailey, who rests at her feet. “Guess what, Bailey! I’m gonna live here more with you!”

Bailey licks at Jamie’s face in response, enjoying the affection, before Jamie pops up and runs to give Alice a hug, repeatedly squealing “This is awesome!!”

Maggie wipes a tear from her eye as Alex throws her arm around Maggie’s shoulders. “Thank you.” Alex whispers across to Alice. 

Alice presses a kiss to Jamie’s head as she responds, “I should be thanking you. She’s waited a long time for this.”

////

Later that night, Maggie wakes to a dip in the mattress and Jamie climbing onto the bed, weaseling herself between Alex and Maggie. 

“You have a bad dream?” Maggie asks, brushing Jamie’s hair away from her face. 

Jamie ducks her head, shy. “No.” 

Maggie smiles, pulling Jamie closer. “Good.”

Jamie pops her thumb in her mouth and lets out a soft sigh when Alex turns to press a kiss to the back of Jamie’s head. 

“Love you both” Alex mumbles while she flips back around and falls asleep. 

Jamie looks up at Maggie, her eyes wide. “Does she really?” 

Maggie smiles. “Mhmm.”

“Why?” Jamie wonders, stunned. 

“What do you mean, why? You and I are pretty loveable.”

Jamie burrows closer to Maggie, nuzzling in. “Not me. No one ever loved me ‘cept for Mrs. Johnson. That’s why I don’t have a family.”

Maggie looks over at Alex’s sleeping form for a moment before she replies. “I lost my family when I was a kid, too, so I kinda know how you feel.”

“Really?”

“Yup. I thought I was unlovable until Alex came along and told me I was wrong.” Maggie lowers her voice as she softly admits, “Sometimes I still have trouble believing she could really love someone like me.”

Jamie pulls back. “That’s so silly! Why would she lie, you’re awesome!”

“I know it sounds silly.” Maggie interrupts kindly. “But for a long time I didn’t  _ want  _ Alex to love me.”

“What? This makes no sense!”

Maggie laughs, tucking Jamie’s hair behind her ear, meeting Jamie’s earnest gaze. “When you go a long time not knowing what love feels like, it’s pretty scary when someone comes along and makes you feel it, ‘cuz what if they go away like everyone else?”

Jamie lets out a little gasp of understanding and Maggie watches Jamie carefully, trying to see if the point lands on her. 

“I was so afraid to fall in love with Alex and I pushed her away more times than she deserved, but she didn’t give up on me. She was brave and stayed and showed me love is worth the risk. Every day she reminds me I deserve love.”

Maggie tilts Jamie’s chin up. “And now we’re gonna remind you too, peanut.”

“How come no one wants me then?” Jamie’s lip trembles as Maggie pulls her in. Maggie notices Alex tense, and she knows the woman is listening. 

“Excuse me,” Maggie jokes, poking Jamie’s rib playfully, “I thought Alex and I made it pretty clear we want you around.”

Jamie whimpers against Maggie, suddenly quiet, and Maggie feels the tension radiating off the little girl. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Maggie gently prods. 

“I can’t say it.”

“Why not?”

Jamie pauses. “It’s really sad.”

Maggie decides to take Alice’s lead from earlier and gently coax Jamie through. “Wanna know a sad thought I had today?”

“You have sad thoughts, too?”

“Oh, yeah. This morning I was so worried about Mrs. Johnson’s visit, I cried.”

“ _ You  _ cry?” Jamie asks, amazed. 

Maggie smiles, chuckling when she sees Alex’s shoulders shake in held back laughter. “I don’t spring a leak as often as Alex, but when I thought about maybe losing all these sleepovers with you, yeah, I got a little weepy.”

Jamie sighs into Maggie’s chest, fist clutching her T-shirt, as she whispers, “What if Mrs. Johnson changes her mind and I gotta go to a new place and no one loves me anymore?”

Alex flips over, tears in her eyes as she speaks up. “Impossible. We’ll always love you, no matter where you are.”

With that promise, the dam breaks and Jamie sobs. “I don’t wanna leave you.”

Alex trails her hand along Jamie’s back, trying to soothe her as the little girl sobs in Maggie’s arms. “You don’t have to worry about that right now, baby. Mrs Johnson’s not gonna change her mind. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Maggie takes over, voice wavering. “You belong right here with us.”

That makes Jamie cry harder. “I like havin’ a family.”

And  _ that  _ makes Maggie cry, sobbing just as hard as Jamie. 

Alex knows Maggie’s own issues with family and worth are being stirred up, and her heart breaks. “Oh, my girls...” Alex coos, gathering both women in her arms as best she can, trying to soothe the trembling women.

Eventually Jamie cries herself to sleep, Maggie’s shirt soaked with her tears. Alex presses a kiss to the back of Jamie’s head when she’s sure Jamie’s out cold as she asks, “Want me to take her so you can change?” 

Maggie’s arm tightens around Jamie. “Nah, I’m fine. She seems comfortable.”

Alex smirks, reaching over to cup Maggie’s cheek, thumbing it softly. “Who would’ve thought the mouthy detective at my crime scene just needed a super sweet 5 year old to tame her?”

Maggie rolls her eyes, belaying the affection twinkling in them, “Sounds a lot like jealousy, there, Danvers.”

“Not jealousy,” Alex smiles softly, leaning in to kiss Maggie. “Awe.” Alex shifts closer, smiling as Jamie softly sighs in her sleep. “Motherhood is so, so beautiful on you, Maggie.”

Maggie pffs, uncomfortable under the praise, staring down at the little girl nestled against her. And then, Alex is shocked when Maggie quietly admits through her blush, “There’s more snot than I imagined, but I like doin’ this mom thing with you.” 

Alex beams, her fingers dancing along Maggie’s forearm. “Yeah, me too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, love to hear your thoughts / critiques.


	29. birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I may have written this while slightly drunk in one of those cathartic spill your guts out, hour long stream of conscious kind of moments. 
> 
> And now you get to read my guts, in all its unedited glory. Hope you enjoy / would love to hear your thoughts / all that jazz. 
> 
> This exists somewhere between chapters 26 and 27, and makes SUPER MINOR reference to something in chapter 28.

Jamie’s birthday comes five months into her stay with the Sawyer - Danvers’ and, upon learning that Jamie’s never celebrated a birthday properly before, Alex and Maggie decide to pull out all the stops to make her 6th birthday a memorable one. 

They start gently, flanking her sides in bed the morning of her birthday and peppering her face with kisses. Jamie wakes up laughing, covering her face with her hands in an attempt to avoid the onslaught. 

Alex pulls Jamie’s hand from her face, smiling softly as Jamie turns her head to hide in her pillow, embarrassed under Alex’s tender gaze. 

Maggie smirks at Alex before she dramatically exclaims, “Babe, we gotta call the cops. Jamie’s missing!” 

Jamie looks at Maggie, bewildered. “No, I’m not. I’m right here.” 

Maggie sighs dramatically. “Nah, you can’t be our Jamie. You’re way too old and wrinkly to be the little girl we love.” Maggie pokes Jamie as the little girl squeals. 

“Maggieeee” Jamie laughs as she sits up, “You know I’m still me. Birthdays don’t make you look older, you just become a bigger number.” 

Maggie tilts Jamie’s chin up, a glint in her eye as she continues to tease. “Hm. I don’t know. If you’re really who you say you are, I don’t recognize you now that you’re six.” Jamie giggles and Maggie seizes the moment to keep her laughing, “Wait hold on, there’s only one way to find out if you’re telling the truth.” Maggie flops down, grabbing Jamie on the way to cuddle her, which Jamie reciprocates with gleeful gusto. Maggie looks up at Alex with a wry grin. “ Checks out, she gives the real good Jamie snuggles. She’s ours.”

Alex rolls her eyes affectionately before she reaches down to smooth Jamie’s hair out of her face. “Ignore her. What she means to say is happy birthday, sweetheart.”

Jamie sits up again, blushing. “Thanks, Alex.” 

Alex pulls her into a one armed hug and Jamie melts into Alex’s side happily while Maggie sits up, pressing a kiss to Jamie’s temple on the way. 

Maggie reaches over to the bedside table, grabbing two presents and handing one over to Alex, before they both drop the presents onto Jamie’s lap. 

Jamie stares down with trepidation. “For me?”

“Well, it’s not our birthday.” Maggie chuckles. 

Jamie opens the first with trembling hands, gasping when she sees the 100 count colored pencil kit she’s looked at longingly every time they go to the store but never asks for. “Thank you!! How’d you know I wanted this!!”

Alex rests her chin on top of Jamie’s head, hugging her close. “We had a feeling.”

Jamie trails her finger along the package reverently before she places it gently next to her. Then Jamie takes the smaller present, opening it to reveal a kid sized necklace just like the one both Maggie and Alex have. Jamie drops the box and bursts into tears. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Alex worries, rubbing Jamie’s back. 

“It’s just like yours.”

“Is that...bad?” Maggie asks. 

Jamie covers her face with her hands, mumbling, “It’s too special. I can’t have it.”

Maggie sighs, tilting Jamie’s chin up so she can look at her. This time not teasing, just honest. “A special kid deserves special presents.”

Jamie lunges towards Maggie, hugging her tightly as she sobs into Maggie’s neck. “I don’t know why I’m crying, this is my best birthday!!” Jamie whimpers frantically and Maggie cuddles her close, trying to absorb Jamie’s shuddering sobs. 

“It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Sometimes feelings are overwhelming and make us cry even when we’re happy.” Maggie gently shushes as she rocks Jamie back and forth. Maggie leans into Alex’s hand when Alex reaches over to thumb away a tear that falls down Maggie’s cheek, mouthing  _ I love you  _ as Alex mouths back  _ you too, forever _ . 

Once Jamie’s sobs turn to sniffles, Alex pokes at Jamie’s shoulder. Jamie looks at Alex, tear tracks down her face as Alex tucks Jamie’s hair behind her ear. She fastens the necklace around Jamie’s neck, swiping away the tears on Jamie’s cheeks afterwards. 

Jamie touches the necklace, awed. "I can't believe it" Jamie whispers to herself. 

Alex climbs off the bed with a smile, offering an outstretched hand. “There’s one more surprise downstairs. I think you’re gonna like it the most.”

Jamie looks at Maggie, who encourages her forward, and Jamie climbs off the bed, grabbing Alex’s hand nervously. 

Alex squeezes her hand and Maggie stands next to Jamie, scratching the little girl’s scalp gently as she promises, “It’s not a scary kind of surprise. No one’s gonna jump out and yell, ‘kay?”

Jamie nods, but keeps her hand firmly planted in Alex’s anyway. 

///

Once downstairs, Alex leads Jamie into the kitchen and Jamie lets out a gasp when Alice, Jamie’s case-worker, comes into focus from her perch at the breakfast table. 

Alice gives a little wave as Jamie drops Alex’s hand in surprise.

“Oh my gosh! Mrs Johnson, what are you doin’ here?”

“We always have breakfast together on your birthday, silly.”

Jamie covers her face with her hands, crying again. “I like bein’ six” she sobs. 

Maggie smiles, squatting down to pull Jamie’s hands away from her face. “I’m glad, kiddo. Now come on, there’s chocolate chip pancakes that have your name on ‘em and no one should cry while eating chocolate chip pancakes. It’s basically a crime.”

Jamie leans forward to leave a sloppy kiss on Maggie’s cheek before she turns to wrap her arms around Alex’s waist, still a little weepy, as she buries her face against Alex’s hip. Jamie says nothing, but Alex can feel the gratitude in the hug she receives. 

Alex squats down, tears shimmering in her eyes as she collects Jamie in a bear hug. “We all love you so much, peanut.” she whispers in Jamie’s ear. 

“I love you back.” Jamie soaks in the hug for a long moment before she presses a kiss to Alex’s cheek. Then, with newfound energy, Jamie runs over to the table. 

Maggie moves to Alex’s side, arms slipping around Alex’s waist as she gives her a sweet kiss, before they both turn their attention back to Jamie at the table.

“Look, I got a necklace just like the one Maggie and Alex have, and so many colored pencils!” Jamie points to her necklace but before Alice can comment Jamie keeps going, “and I know I look sad ‘cuz I cried but Maggie says it’s okay to cry when you’re happy and I’m so happy you’re here!”

“Alex and Maggie were very adamant that you celebrate your birthday with all the people who love you.” Alice smiles at the women before she places her own little present in front of Jamie. 

“Another present?!?” 

“Yup.”

“Wow, I'm so lucky.” Jamie sighs as she opens the box. She pulls out a stuffed bear, hugging it tightly as she exclaims, “I forgot all about him!!”

Maggie and Alex look to Alice for explanation. 

“I gave this stuffed animal to Jamie on her fourth birthday, but she was between houses at that time and afraid she’d lose him in all her moves. So Jamie asked me to keep him until she and Stanley found a place that felt safe.”

Jamie leans against Alice as the woman wraps her arm around Jamie’s shoulders, looking down as she asks, “So, what do you think, kiddo? Want him back now?”

Jamie nods happily. “Yes please!” Jamie hugs the bear again as she whispers in the bear’s ear, entirely unaware of the audience that watches her, “You don’t gotta be scared here. Alex and Maggie won’t hurt us.”

It’s Alex’s turn to sob into Maggie’s neck. 

///

That night, following a birthday party filled with family and more presents and tons of cake, Alex and Maggie tuck a very tired but extremely happy Jamie into bed. 

“Do you think birthday wishes really come true?” Jamie yawns as she wiggles underneath the covers. 

Alex smiles, adjusting the blanket around Jamie. “My birthday wish this year seems to have come true.”

“What’d you wish for?”

Alex pokes Jamie’s nose gently. “You’re not supposed to say what you wish for out loud otherwise it won’t come true.”

“But your birthday was a long time ago and you said it came true already!”

Alex laughs, kissing Jamie’s forehead. “Good point.” She looks over at Maggie, who smiles softly before turning her attention back to the little girl. “My wish was that you’d be happy here with us.”

“Oh, then it did come true! You’re the best moms.”

Alex and Maggie catch each other’s eye over Jamie’s head, surprised by Jamie calling them moms, even passively. Alex winks and Maggie takes over, deciding to match Jamie’s lightheartedness. “You’re just saying that because we gave you an extra big piece of cake tonight.”

Jamie frowns, reaching up for Maggie’s cheeks, pulling her face down. “No, I mean it.”

Maggie taps Jamie’s nose. “It’s easy to be good moms when you have the best kid.” Maggie grabs Jamie's cheeks with her own hands, smirking as she finishes, "I mean it."

Jamie sighs, hugging Stanley and her new stuffed animal, named Barry, close to her chest. “I hope my wish comes true like yours did, Alex.” Jamie whispers.

Alex kisses Jamie’s cheek as she lays down next to Jamie, sharing her pillow. “I hope so too, sweetheart.”

Jamie chews her lip in the silence before she asks, “Can I ask you guys a question?”

Alex smiles. “Always.”

“Why was I born if my mom didn’t want me?”

Alex visibly startles, letting out a pained gasp. Maggie kisses Jamie’s cheek as she lays down as well, answering for Alex. “I think the universe knew we were waiting for you but needed your birth mom’s help to get you.”

Jamie smiles. “So it was good I was born?”

Alex cuddles close, grabbing Maggie’s hand and letting their entwined hands rest on Jamie’s stomach. “Of course it was, baby. You’re the best part of our lives -”  Alex sniffles, looking over at Maggie as she echoes a similar sentiment Maggie once said to her, “- and I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

////

On Jamie’s 7th birthday, she confesses what her last birthday wish was: to be adopted by Maggie and Alex.

It’s Jamie’s first birthday as their daughter. 


End file.
